Halal TV to start operations from May 1

After announcing its grandiose plans to launch a Halal internet, a group of Iranian mullahs acting under the umbrella of Mullahs for Halal Peace (the name has not been shorteneed due to halal reasons) have announced they will soon launch a TV channel confirming to Islamic principles. Sources have confirmed that Halal Television will be launched with much fanfare by Iranian president and twitter fan Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on the 1st of May 2011.
It may be remembered that Iran had announced it would launch Islamic internet to counter the influence of the US dominated world wide web a few days back. “The new channel will provide ‘believers’ complete and enriching entertainment that will compel them to move away from traditional infidel television,” Ali Aqamohammadi, head of mulistic affairs with the Iranian presidency, told Humor Unplugged.

Halal Television will feature moth eaten Jurassic and ice age mullahs preaching pre historic values to a nonchalant audience. The USP of the channel will be the high moral ground it will take, thanks to the endorsement received from mullahs across Iran and Pakistan for the venture. “The Halal channel will teach everyone including infidels the way of the donkey riding mullah. Let the satanic forces take note - your days are numbered,” Aqamohammadi said before dashing off to download the 2011 edition of Pirelli calendar from a torrent site.

Pakistan government has meanwhile stated that the channel will be used to educate children in Madrasas across Pakistan. "Some judges from the Pakistani Supreme Court including the ones who heard the Mukhtaran Mai case will also be deputed to the channel to serve as visiting mullahs," Pakistan Interior Minister, Rehman Malik said.

Sources as reliable as Amar Singh have told Humor Unplugged that Halal Television has already started test transmission in the middle east and Europe. In fact, we were allowed to view a live screening of a special transmission for kids in London who had never seen a pre-cambrian mullah in their lives. Within minutes of the broadcast, the hall was as empty as the ones hosting Donald Trump’s presidential campaign speeches in the USA.

Test transmission of Halal TV in London

Reaction from the audience


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