Facebook slowing down evolution: expert

In a damning revelation, noted evolutionary expert and all round nice guy Dr Hammerschmidst has claimed that social networking site Facebook was putting the brakes on evolution and the ill effects of this on mankind will emerge over the next 50 years.

Hammerschmidst has based his study on research conducted on over 100,000 subjects including mice, over the last 4 years. The findings of his study, accessed exclusively by your favorite blog, reveal that since the birth of Facebook, the number of mutations occurring per 10000 people has hit an al time low of .3. According to the doc, this means that from now on there will less opportunities for mankind to develop new features and evolve and adapt according to changing survival needs.

What does this really mean doc, we asked. And the reply startled us. “Facebook will turn into the equivalent of the comet that destroyed the dinos. You see irrespective of what we do, our world is getting hotter and there are other changes taking place thats making life on Earth tougher. This can be attributed to natural and anthropogenic activities. However, so far we have been lucky enough to have nature on our side and we were gradually evolving to meet such challenges. However, with people spending as much as 700 billion minutes a week on Facebook, our genes are losing the willpower to experiment and change. These guys are also taking it easy, just the way we are and so evolution (from man’s perspective) has slowed down for probably the first time in history,” Hammerschmidst said.

This also means that we will not change as humans in the days to come and we will not be able to adapt to the changes taking place around us. When contacted, Facebook denied all charges and claimed that it was doing all it can to promote evolution. “We have a page dedicated to human evolution and besides, we will soon introduce changes in account settings to encourage people to do things outside their workstations minus their laptop and technology,” FB spokesperson said.

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