Pakistan introduces new courses for terrorists

The ISI Institute of Terrorism (IIT) is easily the most prestigious terror training institute in the world. The ISI backed Islamabad-based institute with branches in Lahore (land), Waziristan (air) and Karachi (marine wing) trains over 200 hardcore terrorists every year and its passouts can be found hard at work blowing themselves up, driving explosive laden trucks and highjacking flights from USA to UAE. 

Recently, IIT launched new courses to suit the changing needs of organizations like Al Qaeeda and Lashkar-e-Toeiba, who are prime recruiters from the institute. The new courses, recognized by the Pakistani government and its armed forces, will serve to bridge the yawning gap between traditional terrorism involving suicide attacks and neo terrorism involving innovative terror tactics such as shoe bombing and shampoo bombing. Humor Unplugged has managed to obtain a copy of the new prospectus issued by IIT for the aca-doom-ic year 2010-11. Here is a list of the new courses, as mentioned in the document:

ISI Certified Shoe Bomber: A specialized course that will arm students with necessary knowledge to carry out shoeicide attacks on targets. The course will also teach the IQ-challenged students who enroll to tie their shoe laces.

Advanced Diploma in Home-based Bio Terrorism: teaches students to convert household items such as 10 –day old curd and unwashed garments into weapons of mass destruction.

Degree in brainwashing and indoctrination: The student is transformed into a donkey riding, stone age minded, brain dead, peace hating mullah by the end of the course. 

Degree in farce communication: The student will be able to effectively leverage conventional and non conventional media to propagate varied terror ideologies by enrolling in this course.

Degree in International Terrorism: Students can seek jobs as terrorists in over 60 nations across the world after successfully completing this course.

Speaking on the sidelines of the convocation ceremony of IIT in Islamabad, Pakistani PM Pant Geelani said “We need to export more terrorists. So far have only covered nearly 50 countries and if IIT continues its good work and USA keeps ignoring our evil activities, every country in the world will house Pakistani terrorists who will be blowing up buildings, aircrafts, ships and religious institutions with ease”.

US doubles aid to Pakistan
 After a Pakistani link to a terror incident was found for the umpteenth time, US has decided to double its aid to the terror capital of the world. “We have to help Pakistan send more people like Faisal Shahzad  to our country to cause mayhem. I am of the opinion that you will not be able to respect freedom till you have terrorists like Faizal roam freely in USA. Pakistan is undoubtedly the world’s most prolific supporter of terrorism and we have to do our bit in ensuring that the world turns into a dangerous place with the help of Pakistan,” US President Barack Obama said


sm said…
what u say about this moron....
Prayukth j said…
Dude, out here in India, a terrorist is a terrorist and FYI...if you have read the article carefully, you would have noticed that I have not pointed fingers at a religion...the reference here is to your country pakistan...i really pity you...if you were not able to realize this fact...
Sucheta said…
Great article as always!
Prayukth j said…
Thanks Sucheta, appriciate the fact that you always post a comment on my pieces...:)

Take care and god bless ya...



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