BCCI all set to punish the Indian cricket team
The Indian cricket team will be ‘grounded’ for a while after it wraps up its disastrous T-20 World cup campaign in the Caribbean. According to sources in the BCCI, the team will be subject to a series of harsh measures till such a time that the players live up to their potential and start performing, when it matters most.
The following are some of the new rules that will be implemented once the disastrous T 20 world cup campaign is officially over:
• Those players who have been run out in at least one match will be air dropped in Maoist dominated areas with pamphlets praising the Indian government
• All established batsmen with a strike rate of less than 105 will be forced to take Mayawathi on a dinner date
• All established bowlers who have taken less than 8 wickets will be forced to listen to Mamta Banerjee’s 2010 railway budget speech 8 times a day
• Fielders who have dropped catches will have Jayalalitha dropped on them from the third floor of a building
• Players who have partied after 11 pm during IPL and have performed badly in the World Cup will be sent to the Indian embassy in Islamabad with sensitive papers
• Players who have performed well in IPL but have failed during the world cup will be asked to interview Arundathi Roy
• Ravindra Jadeja will never wear the Indian jersey again. He will be deported to Qatar
• The personal ids of every team member who was part of the disastrous campaign in the Caribbean, the team manager and phsyio will be published on the BCCI website
• The team will be handed over to a Khap panchayat as soon as they set foot on the Indian soil. This panchayat will then decide on a suitable punishment for the crooks in blue
• No team member will be able to tweet or access his social media account for another year
• Players will only be allowed to feature in certain categories of ads such as those for diapers, sanitary napkins and toilet cleaners
The following are some of the new rules that will be implemented once the disastrous T 20 world cup campaign is officially over:
• Those players who have been run out in at least one match will be air dropped in Maoist dominated areas with pamphlets praising the Indian government
• All established batsmen with a strike rate of less than 105 will be forced to take Mayawathi on a dinner date
• All established bowlers who have taken less than 8 wickets will be forced to listen to Mamta Banerjee’s 2010 railway budget speech 8 times a day
• Fielders who have dropped catches will have Jayalalitha dropped on them from the third floor of a building
• Players who have partied after 11 pm during IPL and have performed badly in the World Cup will be sent to the Indian embassy in Islamabad with sensitive papers
• Players who have performed well in IPL but have failed during the world cup will be asked to interview Arundathi Roy
• Ravindra Jadeja will never wear the Indian jersey again. He will be deported to Qatar
• The personal ids of every team member who was part of the disastrous campaign in the Caribbean, the team manager and phsyio will be published on the BCCI website
• The team will be handed over to a Khap panchayat as soon as they set foot on the Indian soil. This panchayat will then decide on a suitable punishment for the crooks in blue
• No team member will be able to tweet or access his social media account for another year
• Players will only be allowed to feature in certain categories of ads such as those for diapers, sanitary napkins and toilet cleaners
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