NIRMA urges Sania Mirza to thread cautiously

India's premier relationship advisory agency National non Institutional Relationship Management Authority (NIRMA)has issued a lengthy advisory to tennis sensation Sania Mirza over her impending marriage to Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik. The advisory was issued by the body on Friday and Sania will be receiving a copy of the same by Saturday, sources told Humor Unplugged.

"After analyzing 37 parameters and conducting a comprehensive blood sample analysis, we have come to the conclusion that Sania Mirza is on a rebound. She has to wait for sometime before she gets into this relationship, so that she is mentally and physically prepared. Right now she in a hurry to move away from her previous relationship. Its written all over her and she needs to be extremely cautious right now," NIRMA chairman Chavvani Lal said.

NIRMA was established by the Indian government in 2007 to offer advise and guidance to help couples manage and sustain their relationship. The national body has come up with a ranking matrix to help partners determine the chances of one of them straying. The ranking is determined based on various parameters (including nature of previous relationships, hormonal makeup, weather conditions in the city, sizes of various areas in the brain, hobbies, favorite cartoon character, T V show etc.) which are analyzed simultaneously through a scientific process involving over 56990 calculations. Anybody can get a relationship test done from NIRMA's national lab in Bangalore. They can also analyze the strength of their relationship at this lab. 

Rebound asana
India's yoga guru Baba Thangde has offered to help Sania Mirza come out of rebound mode. He claims that by performing the Rebound Asana three times a day, people can get into more fulfilling and enriching relationships. The asana involves holding ones breath, putting both legs over one's head while walking on red hot coals with bare hands. After the exercise is done, the person has to drink generous amounts of neem juice mixed with with castor oil. The Baba who, has never used a Gillette vector in is life, claims that after doing the exercise, one gets into such a bad shape that no one pays attention to you for a while. "That will give you ample time to focus on other things and keep your mind away from relationships. Overall it will prevent you from jumping into another relationship like a frog," Thangde said.

Comments

Bee said…
:D she could rebound only from an r'ship she was in.. that engagement of hers was a big farce.
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