Now Bollywood wants a separate state

According to reports coming in from agency sources, Bollywood has become the latest entity to ask for a separate state. Union Home Minister Chidambaram has confirmed to this blogger (over a facebook wall post) that he has indeed received a memorandum from the a team from bollywood stating this demand.

“Considering the amount of drama we create, it becomes essential for us to have a separate state. Besides we are contributing plenty of tax money to government coffers and have our own share of controversies and lows. If you look at all this, we do have a strong case in this context,” bloated director Mahesh Bhatt said. He was in fact the only bollywood guy idle enough to offer his take on the whole issue.

Mahesh Bhatt has been asked to identify a set of actors for staging an indefinite fast to pressurize the Indian government on the issue. “I have already been inundated by applications from so many actors on this. Many are viewing the indefinite fast as an opportunity to shed those extra pounds of flab accumulated over the years. I have made it amply clear that we only need people who already look malnourished and can gather enough sympathy within days of fasting (and not months). We have folks who could fast for years together without anyone noticing and this is why I had to say no to Bhappi Uncle,” Bhatt said.

Elaborating on the strategy to build pressure on government, Bhatt said “its very simple. First we go on fast and if the government doesn’t budge, we will start unleashing some of the biggest weapons we have in our arsenal. We will ask Himesh to launch another movie and ask cinema halls and multiplexes around the country to play only that movie till government agrees to back down. If this doesn’t work, we will ask him and Bhappi da to go on a nationwide tour and we are quite sure that this will bring them around…”

IPL wants a separate state too..
In a related development, IPL commissioner Lalit Modi has asked the government to give a separate state to IPL. In a statement issued after he was thrashed by Congressmen after the RCA polls, a deflated Modi asked the government to carve out a separate state on “economic and sympathetic grounds” for IPL.

“They are thrashing me wherever I go. Be it RCA, MCA or even the LCA (Lakshadweep Cricket Association) and this has to stop. I will go on an indefinite fast till government agrees to meet my demand. I will stop accepting all those wades of currency notes thrown at me by sponsors and chase away advertisers, till such time,” Modi said. He was thrashed again after making this statement and had to be dragged to a nearby hospital. He was discharged after first aid only to be brought back in as a huge crowd gathered outside to thrash him again.


tia said…
guess bappi lahiri shld b on fast ...:P

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