David Coleman Headley: new tourism brand ambassador

David Coleman Headley, the guy who is on the lips of every intelligence guy in town, will soon be appointed as the tourism department's new brand ambassador. A consensus on this has been arrived and the decision could come as soon as this weekend, sources close to the tourism ministry said.

"This guy has visited every tourist hotspot in the country and the intelligence guys tell us that we the department could promote what they call terror tourism by taking visitors on the route taken by Headley in India. We may even have look alikes of Rahul Bhatt and other bollywood personalities who have met Headley to greet the tourists and act as guides during the visit," a senior tourism department official told this blogger.

Meanwhile the intelligence agencies in India, who are as alert as a hyena on a tranquiliser overdose, are now on a mission to trace his historic journey in India. According to sources, they have already visited over 40 cities and towns and are likely to visit 40 more, not to gather evidence but to tour these cities on government budget. A senior intelligence sleuth says "we believe in the principle of guests being god in our country and don't take action on them till they have gone back, plotted their terror scheme and executed their fiendish plans...till then they are our esteemed guests and we don't want to harm them in any way".

Headley did not visit my dhaba: Lal
Chavvani Lal, who runs a Punjabi dhabha on the Mumbai-Pune highway has denied media reports that Pakistani terrorist Headley had lunch at his place. "In fact, I know a terrorist when I see one and will never feed one - I know more than these so called intelligence guys and that's for sure," Lal said. Coming down heavily on the media for sensationalising the whole episode, he said "the media guys here are acting like a bunch of squirrels chasing nuts on a slope during heavy rains".

Headley denies dating any actress
In a wired message from FBI HQ, Headley has denied that he had ever dated any of the actress mentioned by Indian media. "I read reports that some publicity hungry wannabees were going to town about me meeting and dating them. I would like to state that all these claims are false and that the media should not read too much into anything".

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