Love bites are not a ground for divorce

In a landmark judgment with widespread ramifications for communities interested in bedroom gymnastics in the country, a senior court has ruled that love bites given by one’s spouse cannot be treated as a ground for divorce anymore.

Delivering the verdict, Justice Chavvani Lal observed “if we were to go by love bites, I should have been divorced twenty years back. In fact, it’s these very bites that kept our relationship going and what’s good for me is good for you guys also. Would you want your husband to bite a dog instead"?

The verdict was passed in a case where a fashion designer had asked the court to grant her divorce as her hubby was an “animal in bed” and used to give her at least 7 certified love bites “in visible areas” a day. Her lawyer filed a plea asking the court to take into account the fact that she had to put with prying colleagues interested in her love life at work and fend off curious looks from visitors at home. Further, the lawyer said that her mother in law wanted her to visit a doctor and go for skin grafting at the earliest. "The plaintiff has suffered emotional and physical trauma to satiate the insatiable appetite of her husband and needs to be granted a divorce at the earliest,” her lawyer pleaded.

The Justice Chavvani Lal while dismissing the case said “the court encourages the plaintiff to find a better excuse to go for a divorce. Love bites is not exactly something that court views as a good excuse . However, taking into account the emotional state of the plaintiff, this court directs the respondent to go easy on the plaintiff in bed.” The court has deputed a observer to witness the activities of the couple 24X7 for the next 90 days to ensure that the leniency granted is not misused. Amused by the anxiety of the lawyer to get his client divorced, Justice Chavvani said "Are you intending to marry this lady, if so please visit a dentist first and get your front teeth removed" Hearing this line, the entire courtroom burst into peels of laughter and some folks had to be sedated to prevent them from giggling.

Noted Loveologist Dr Hammerschmidst while studying the verdict said that the concept of love bites was as old as humanity itself. “The first documented love bite was given by a dude in what is now Egypt over 10,000,000 years ago. Intense and uncontrollable moments of passion resulting in bites are also seen in some of the mummies of Egypt. In fact in some civilizations, it was viewed as an essential criteria for choosing ones partner. Love bites cannot be viewed in isolation from a relationship it helps burn calories, fight dementia and is essential for maintaining healthy teeth," Hammerschmidst said with a grin as wide as Sachin's paycheck.


Apple said…
"sedated to prevent them from giggling" Thats the category i'd fall into :P

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