Showing posts from October, 2009

Lest we forget 26-11

Defining images from the time when Pakistan sent its cowards across the border...if this had happened to any other nation, Pakistan would have been relegated to history forever..but here we are...a year down the line and Pakistan is not just alive but is plotting a sequel. All the anger that we saw after 26-11 has all been drowned in the humdrum of our mundane existence. We have embedded grief and anger into our conscience and are always more than eager to move what cost? Probably that is why we are a billion plus and the government has stopped focusing on family planning because Pakistan is doing that on its behalf...

There is only one question that i have for the Government of India..what is the threshold body count that Pakistan-sponsored cowards have to generate in India before we thrash the daylights out of that miserable pest thriving in our neighborhood?

Going back, these are some of the images from the day time stood still...just look at the pic of the child. The nex…

Neanderthals did Koochie Koo with humans

In what could be a shocking find by any standards, genomic studies have revealed that humans did indeed do the Neanderthals.

Geneticist Dr. Hammerschmidst, who has been studying the genomes taken from the bones of Neanderthals and modern humans is set to publish a study that sex was common between the two species. New evidence unearthed by the renowned genesist suggests that this relationship might have been the cause of the sudden extinction of the Neanderthals.

“This was the time when human dudes were really desperate. Some human females were acting pricy and used to spend more time in shopping malls than in bed. That was when humans were exposed to these angels who were just what the doctor ordered. It was a match made in heaven and very soon the stork came visiting,” the doc said explaining the sequence of events.

The doctor has infact managed to locate the descendent of one such human-neandertal association. This man in question is none other than the interior minister of Paki…

Funny images for the week gone by

Pakistan's war on terror is on in full swing

Obama's new spokesperson

The new camel purchased by the Pakistani Army with US aid. Pak has ordered 100 automated camels worth $500 million for its Army from US. These camels will be deployed by the Pak army in its war against terror

Chinese ambassadors on a goodwill mission

India's message to China..

US soldiers celebrating Diwali in Afghanistan

US government on a cost cutting mode...a cycle being loaded into Air Force One

A new method to cure diarrhea

China will become so called China

Continuing the diplomatic tit-tat with China, India has announced that in the future it would refer to its Eastern neighbor and anything connected with it with a “so called" prefix. This blogger has learnt that a policy decision to this effect is in the pipeline.

“This means that China becomes so called China, Beijing becomes so called Beijing and Wen Jiabao becomes so called Wen Jaibao. We have had enough of Chinese meddling into our business. If they can call our state as so called Arunachal Pradesh, we can also call anything connected with that so called country with a similar prefix,” a senior foreign ministry official told this blogger.

Experts say that this move is designed to teach china a lesson in international manners.

Now issue Fatwa via SMS

To cater to the growing demand for issuing Fatwas at the drop of a hat, Pakistan’s main telecom operator Pakistan Telecommunication Company Limited (PTC) has launched a new ‘SMS a Fatwa’ service. The service will be initially available in over 30 cities in Pakistan and will be rolled out in more areas over the next 2 years.

Announcing the decision, PTC chairman Mullah Aslam Share Khan said “the service has been launched in response to requests from senior mullahs across Pakistan. They wanted to issue fatwa via sms as that was the most convenient way of doing it”. To use the service, PTC customers have to send “fat” to 67546; after the mandatory registration process, the subscriber is deemed ready. When a Mullah or Mulli wants to issue a Fatwa, he or she just has to send Act followed by the text of Fatwa to the number. PTC then publishes the Fatwa on its website after running it past the National Mullah Network (NMN). Top Fatwa issuers will be rewarded and inducted into NMN every year…

We are only giving Pakistan love bites: Taliban

Stunned by increasing criticism from friendly quarters in the Pakistan army and bloggers from within the country, Taliban has claimed that its recent attacks were only a symbol of its deep felt love for Pakistan. The claim was made at a thinly attended press conference in Karachi by Taliban’s chief motor mouth spokesperson Ali Gee.
“These attacks may cause some pain to Pakistan but then that’s our way of displaying our affection for the country and army that has created and mentored us. Such behavior is common among couples in a relationship and I don’t see why anyone should suspect our pious intentions,” Gee said.

Taliban has been forced to make its stand clear after a section of bloggers in Pakistan came out strongly against what they called “Taliban’s scant respect for the very hands that fed and clothed them”. The bloggers calling themselves BAP (Bloggers Association of Pakistan) have asked Taliban to immediately shun violence and return to barracks along with the Pakistan army. …

Love bites are not a ground for divorce

In a landmark judgment with widespread ramifications for communities interested in bedroom gymnastics in the country, a senior court has ruled that love bites given by one’s spouse cannot be treated as a ground for divorce anymore.

Delivering the verdict, Justice Chavvani Lal observed “if we were to go by love bites, I should have been divorced twenty years back. In fact, it’s these very bites that kept our relationship going and what’s good for me is good for you guys also. Would you want your husband to bite a dog instead"?

The verdict was passed in a case where a fashion designer had asked the court to grant her divorce as her hubby was an “animal in bed” and used to give her at least 7 certified love bites “in visible areas” a day. Her lawyer filed a plea asking the court to take into account the fact that she had to put with prying colleagues interested in her love life at work and fend off curious looks from visitors at home. Further, the lawyer said that her mother in law …

China is suffering from territorial amnesia

India has asked the United Nations to urgently dispatch a Geography teacher to China to help it overcome the territorial amnesia its been suffering offlate.

“We have urged UN to urgently send someone who can show china its international borders. China has forgotten that Kashmir and Arunachal Pradesh are parts of India and that the only dispute that exists between Indian and China is over Tibet that is actually a part of India and has been forcefully occupied by China,” a senior foreign ministry official told media in New Delhi on Sunday.

India believes that the belligerent posture adopted recently by the Chinese is nothing, but a convenient ploy to deflect attention from the fact that China has been occupying Indian territory in Tibet. By dispatching a neutral observer, china could be made to see reason before been forcefully made to see so by India.

“We are not like Pakistan and don’t believe in making empty threats to anyone. We will show who we are when the time comes…for now we are…

Interesting snippets

Now tweet your will…
In what could provide a major relief to many, the Indian government has agreed in principle to let people post their will on Twitter. A bill to this effect will be placed on the floor of the house shortly and law makers are expecting a smooth sail without any major objections.
“I have seen how harassed people are when it comes to legalizing their will. This is a move that will help many who have not had a chance to formally declare their will,” Union Minister for Law and Illegal affairs Peerappa Molly said on Monday.

China objects again
China has objected to Indian movie star Aamir Khan’s visit to Arunachal Pradesh. In a statement issued by the Chinese foreign ministry late Friday evening, Chinese foreign ministry spokesperson Wu Xing Hu claimed that the visit would formant trouble in what china claims is a disputed territory. When reminded that Aamir Khan was not a political figure in India and nor was the star planning to visit the Eastern most state in Indian uni…

Funny images...

Some more reactions to Obama's Nobel victory from the animal kingdom...This baby Giraffe refuses to consider Obama as a serious candidate...still

A cow reacts to the news...

This guy was nominated for Nobel Peace prize. This image was taken as the news of Obama wining the prize was announced.

A protestor to the cops: How did Obama bag the Nobel..tell me now..

A guy in the audience of the Tonight Show with Connan o Brien..

Swine Flu protection method #278 mustache sanitizer

A massive protest by Page 3 socialites in Pakistan

Paris Hilton bags Nobel nomination

In an interesting move, the Nobel committee has nominated Paris Hilton for the it’s ‘coveted’ peace prize for 2010. The nomination was announced by the highly revered Nobel jury in a press release issued on Friday from a frozen cave in Oslo.

“The Nobel Committee has decided to nominate Ms Hilton for her extraordinary role in diverting world attention from serious issues like terrorism, poverty and global warming. Sometimes it gets really sad and we need someone like Ms Hilton to keep our spirits high and besides the committee members have on more than one occasion had the privilege of downloading her videos and pictures and viewing them in the privacy of their rooms,” the release said.

Experts, while concurring with the Nobel committee, have said that without Hilton appearing on the scene, Osama would have attacked the US more often, ISI would have exported more terrorists to India and more Chinese soldiers would have crossed the Line of Actual Control dividing Indian and Chinese fo…

Images from the week gone by - focus on Obama

One of the first reactions from the animal world...on Obama bagging the Nobel

Cows milk is a known antidote against undeserving Nobel winners

Pakistan's inquiry on 26-11 is on full steam...

Obama's trademark "I didnt deserve, but got it smile..."

Mera # kab aayegha? When will I win a Nobel prize, this dude is thinking

Potential Nobel aspirants fishing for Nobel in troubled waters..

This dude heard the news while he was on the this picture he is trying to derive some sense from the decision of the Nobel jury

Obama's Nobel haircut is the new in thing...

Pakistan invites Nobel jury

In a further sign of its reluctance to step up the 26-11 trial, Pakistan has invited the Nobel jury to adjudge the Hafiz Saeed trial. It may be remembered that the jury mentioned here is the same that bestowed Nobel peace prize on rookie president Obama a day back.

Pakistan’s loud mouth interior minister Rehman Malik lost no time in showing his mummified broom face to the media to announce this decision. While many media personnel were more interested in knowing why the jury has been roped in, journos from India were conspicuous by their absence.

“We have seen what this jury is capable of. They can jump the gun and come to a awkward conclusion without applying their minds and can take months to arrive at a silly decision. In fact when I first heard that Obama has bagged the Nobel prize so early, I nearly fell off my chair laughing. That was when we decided to call the same jury for the Saeed trial as we didn’t want him to be implicated,” Malik said.

A spokesperson for the jury meanwhile…

Why Obama won the nobel prize

Why did Obama win the Nobel prize for peace? Top ten reasons are here..

* For chickening out of a meeting with the Dalai Lama
* For bombing the moon as if bombing Iraq and Afghanistan wasn’t enough
* For aiding and abetting a terrorist nation (read Pakistan)
* For killing a bug on live TV
* For North Korea’s nuke tests
* For helping Chicago’s pitch for the 2016 Olympics
* For putting extraordinary pressure on Pakistan to part with 26-11 suspects
* For ignoring the chapter II of the A Q Khan saga inspite of ample evidence
* For helping Russia expand its hegemony over the former Soviet republics
* For appointing Hillary as the Secretary of state..i think this is the actual reason behind his victory..the man set an example by making peace with his former enemy 

Shocking news: Karmic deficiency led to recession

An alarming reduction in global positive karma repository led to the recent recession, according to noted Karmologist Dr. Hammerscmidst.

“The quantity of global positive karma has dipped to levels that had not been seen since the Ice Age. In fact if we had not had this recession and had the levels continued to plummet, we could have met with the same fate as the dinosaurs,” the doc claimed in an exclusive interview to this blogger.

Hammerscmidst said that nearly 65 million years ago, the global Karmic repository had touched a Nadir and the result was the extinction of the dinosaurs. “There is no second chance given to beings that are responsible for the low. You will be cleaned out and a new species given a chance to thrive and restore the karmic equilibrium. We are lucky that we were let off with a warning. The collapse of global financial eco system was a warning issued by the divine forces to set our house in order, before it is too late,” he said.

When asked what was karmically wr…

OIC appoints envoy for Antarctica

Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC), one of the most jobless bodies in the world, has announced the appointment of a new envoy for Antarctica, Moon and Mars.

“This move was long pending. We have already shortlisted the names and are currently in the process of deputing them to the respective areas,” said Al Bhakri, chief spokesperson for OIC in a statement released to the public on Friday. Explaining the move to this blogger, Bhakri said “all these areas are disputed and we feel that we have been mandated by the world to take care of disputed areas in the universe. From now on OIC will involve itself in all decisions to be taken on these areas”.
When reminded of the fact that China has been occupying Tibet for a while now and OIC was yet to depute a “representative” for that country, Bhakri pretended to faint and was carried out of the room by two guys from the Pakistani camp.

Meanwhile Pakistan has welcome the latest OIC move and claimed that this would pave way for peaceful res…

China gets it from India

The Indian foreign ministry has finally mustered enough spine to give it back to the worlds most hated nation (TAM polls 2009, sample: global size 500000).

After much dilly dallying and feet dragging, India has chosen to give china a apt gift to wish the nation on the 60th anniversary of commie rule there. India has dispatched two shoes to the Peoples Republic China on Friday and thanked the commie leadership for its jealously myopic move of questioning India’s territorial integrity.

Needless to say, the commie nation reacted with anger at India’s latest move and threatened more intrusions and extra visa slips for other Indian states. “The great commie comrade Hu Jintao has developed a rash in an undisclosed part after he saw the gift from the land of the Tiger. He has asked his loyal soldiers to be ready to sell more contaminated milk and toys around the world to fund the commie army. He has also increased the funding for the Chinese National Intrusion Academy to prepare future intrude…

China continues to act mad...

At 60 China appears more belligerent than ever. A team of folks from India’s external affairs ministry has shortlisted a few items that could be gifted to the commie leaders of the worlds most cowardly country on this occasion.

• Bhappi Lahiri’s Bermuda with steel nadas
• Anu Malik’s waterproof wig
• Copies of the movie Desh Drohi with sub titles
• Mayawathi’s make up kit
• Arnab’s Natraj Pencil
• Rajdeep’s dye, also used by the National Highway Authority on highways across India
• A copy of the book Guts for dummies for China’s spineless army that tries to sneak into Indian territory
• Tickets for participating in Pati, patni Aur Woh instead of the hapless kids
• A week with “monster dad” in his very own prison cell
• A copy of the DVD containing Shiny Ahuja’s wife’s speech where she explains why her hubby is innocent
• A ride in one of the decommissioned MiG 21s
• Prakash Karat
• Copy of Ottavio Quattrocchi’s autobiography
• Fake dinosaur egg with a “made in China” tag
• Stapler with 300 pins