New taxes and cost cutting measures - the unKle way

The Indian government it seems is on a cost cutting mode. Our in house Dharwad-educated economist Swamy-Nuttan Uncleshwar I-err has come up with a few gems to help the cause.

• Reuse shells flung by Pakistan in border areas and sell them back to that country through Iran

• Deploy Mayawathi statues created recently by her on the Indo-Pak border to scare away Paki troops

• Use Emran Hashmi as the brand ambassador for all family planning programs (to show what goes wrong when folks don’t do family planning)

• Use asbestos in future Chandrayan missions

• Impose a dumping tax on china everytime their citizens intrude or defect to India (we don’t want Chinese people or goods in India)

• Impose a “loud mouth” tax on Chinese. This should be collected every time a Chinese official makes a statement on Indian territory

• Impose a looser tax on the Indian cricket team (this has to be paid every time they lose a game)

• Ask the Dalai Lama to pay rent and hospitality charges for his stay in India

• Impose a “dress code tax” on companies that force employees to adhere to a jurassic dress code

• Impose a wardrobe malfunction tax @ 45 percent of total earnings on celebs who claim to have accidently displayed their langots

• Impose a moron tax on all the so called “defense experts” who shoot their mouths off on various news channels whenever a terror attack happens on Indian soil

• Impose a “dye tax” on Rajdeep Sardesai

• A boring question tax to be imposed on Bharkha Dutt

• Poke tax on Arnab Ghostswami, to be levied every time he pokes his pen at the audience

• Pause tax on Pranoy Roy; to be collected every time the grandpa takes a pause while reading news

• Comprehension tax on Prabhu Chawla to be collected every time he speaks in incomprehensible language

• Argument tax on Karan Thapar; to be collected every time the “argumentative Indian” gets into an argument with his talk show guests

• Moron Coverage tax on channels that give coverage to Rakhi Sawant

• Jinnah tax on all BJP workers who use the name of the late divisive minded British spy for various reasons

• Tax on all corporates (ala Ambani brothers and Goyal) who seek government help to clean their own mess

Comments

arun said…
Good One.. so many ways to make money.... from people who have it.. and still we are a poor country... "Liked the dress code part and the moron coverage tax"
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