ISI to target Indian pets

ISI’s terror wing the Lashkar-e-Toieba is raising a special wing to target pets belonging to Indian leaders. The shocking truth was revealed by a militant who was arrested near the LoC in Kashmir in the wee hours of Saturday. A cache of dog and cat food and pictures of pets of senior leaders was recovered from him.

According to intelligence sources who chat with this blogger as regularly as Mayawathi updating her facebook account, Lashkar has decided to aggressively target pets belonging to Indian leaders. Lashkar’s strategy wing that occupies a floor in ISI’s office in Islamabad has apparently allocated funds and resources to raise a special cell that will infiltrate India over the next few years to systematically eliminate pet leadership in the country. Pakistan government has also agreed to release some of the funds received from US for this purpose, a really sour source said.

The news has meanwhile caused plenty of panic in Indian political circles. The cause for consternation is the meaning of ‘pets’ which has not been clearly defined by the intelligence agencies. Some politicians felt that the word was used being used by lashkar to describe their girlfriends or other ‘high value relationships’. One politician who claims to be dating actor and model Peepika Saducone told this blogger that this was a move aimed at mentally disturbing the political leadership of the nation and that India should take stern steps to counter this threat. “This will make us loose our focus on working for the welfare of the country and people,” he said, drawing plenty of chuckles from a six-year old standing nearby.

This blogger has also learnt that some politicians are planning to ask the government to provide SPG cover to their ‘pets’.