We want India to be a shoe-per power

Professional shoe throwers in India have come together under the banner of Selfless Hammering of Expression (SHOE) club. They are demanding a greater say in the democratic process and a platform for their voice to be heard. Our correspondent Rajcreep met up with the head of SHOE, Chavvani Lal. Heres the exclusive.

RS: People are throwing slippers and shoes everywhere. Isn’t that a wrong trend?
CL: I don’t think so Rajcreep. You see we have empowered the masses with another platform for expressing their grievances. You see not everyone is a journo like you; not everyone can blog like this crazy guy from Bangalore who blogs day in and day out and creates all kinds of stories and not everyone can stand in elections. So we need to have a powerful means of disposing our grievances with such powerful jokers.

RS: I can empathize, but why use a shoe? Cant you throw anything else? A pen maybe…
CL: If I throw a pen, no one will notice. We need to throw something that can get the message across in an instant. Between us, my wife throws her lingerie at me sometimes..you see.

RS: Oh heights of passion I see..
CL: Nope, that’s a sign that I need to do the laundry. So you see the weapon is important.

RS: But in a land of peaceful protest, how can you ape the west like this?
CL: What are you talking about? Have you seen how these two-penny politicians block roads and harass people with their padhyathras and strikes? We don’t do all this. Ours is a more peaceful way of achieving the vital objective. And what are you talking about aping the west? Haven’t you heard of the term Jhootey Maroo? This art has originated in India it is our way of punishing evil people.

RS: The guy who threw a shoe at Jindal was drunk..
CL: He is not an association member. We have not authorized his act.

RS: Suppose I am a member and I want to target a politician with a slipper..whats the process.
CL: You will have to fill up a form (online or offline) explaining why you want to target this guy. Then a group of elders will decide if the cause is worth a shoe. If they approve, then the guy will have to sum of 1200 Rs as caution money and inform the elders about the date and time of the event. If the guy tries to get any other mileage out of this, he is shown the door.

RS: Whats the ultimate objective of your club?
CL: We want to empower the ordinary Indian citizen out there. We want India to become a shoe-perpower where every politician will be held accountable for his or her actions and will get a shoe if they don’t deliver. This shoe represents the voice of the Indian voter that has been subdued for over 6 decades and was never heard. This time around they will, see, hear and feel it..Jai Hind.

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