Taliban to introduce branded merchandise

After being ranked as the #1 terrorist organization in the world, the Taliban wants to leverage the positioning to rake in the big bucks. Taliban is planning to introduce a series of branded merchandise to potential markets in Asia and America. This was revealed by Mullah Jamar, VP, Branding and Market Relations, Taliban on last week in Islamabad.

“Everybody knows us. Most folks have heard of our bragging and the things we do every now and then. We therefore decided to leverage our brand equity to sell a range of Taliban branded merchandise,” Jamar said. The range Jamar is referring to includes mugs, teddy bears, t shirts, shorts, fake beards, donkey glasses and head bands. Taliban is also planning to introduce mechanized Mullah Omar, Osama and Baitullah Massood toys to capture the imagination of kids.

To popularize the merchandise, Taliban has entered into a strategic alliance with Martoon Network, which will bring out animated series on top Taliban bosses. The toon series will depict the heroic antics committed by Taliban such as whipping helpless girls, stoning and murdering innocent women and hiding behind mountains for ages to avoid the enemy. A series is also planned on the fairytale romance between Osama and a Peshawar-based donkey that become a legend in these parts.

“The idea is to leverage the concept popularized by hit cartoon shows like Gi Joe, Pokemon and the likes. We intend to arrive on the scene in a big way and capture the market. We will be investing close to 800 million from the money that Pakistani army has supplied us into this,” Jamar said. Taliban’s shares rallied to close at a two month high of Rs. 345 on Friday evening at Karachi Stock Exchange. The ISI is said to have offloaded over 45000 shares of Taliban on Thursday.


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