Politicians demand Shoe Sat-1 launch

The National Association of Politicians (NAP) has asked ISRO to help protect them from shoes and projectiles. A demand to this effect was made by NAP chairman Chavvani Lal a few days back.

Confirming the news, Lal said “We have heard that ISRO has remote sensing satellites that can track not just the weather, but also the movement of ‘shoe like objects’ on earth. We have therefore asked them to work on a satellite designed to track such objects being flung at them and issue alerts well in advance so that evasive measures can be deployed”.

Lal hopes that the forewarning would be sufficient to not just avoid shoe-gates but also deter shoe flingers. He has also asked national broadcaster Doordarshan to telecast shoe forecast bulletins till such a time that the craze for footwear flinging is over. “They are already showing weather bulletins. We just want them to them to broadcast a separate capsule showing the probability of shoes raining from the sky; you know like “garaj key saath jutey padney ki sambhavana hai,” he said.

The NAP chairman wants the satellite to be named Shoe Sat – 1 and placed in a polar orbit with high res pan cameras. He has also asked US to share projectile detection technology used in weapon locating radars (WLRs) with DRDO to shot projectiles before they hit their intended target. WLRs can track a projectile the moment it is launched, plot a most probable trajectory and launch a projectile to shot the rogue projectile down.

In a related development, the unknown drunk guy who flung a slipper at MP Naveen Jindal, has become an overnight celebrity. Dodo books has made a $ 1 million offer to him for penning his memoirs, while liquor baron Vijay Mallya has asked him to take over as the brand ambassador of Bangalore Royal Challengers. There a movie in the pipeline and Channel 4, UK has asked him to join the next edition of Big Brother. “I never knew my slipper could take me so far. From today, I will be flinging slippers at every politician I meet,” he says.

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