The National Shoe Act - 2009

Government of India is seriously considering enacting a National Shoe and Projectile Act to control shoe throwers let loose on the nation. Our sources in the Government have helped us procure a copy of this act and I am producing the same here to inform the esteemed readers of this blog.

Highlights of the new law:

1) If a shoe is thrown at a target with the intend of hurting his ego, insulting him or his party or to make fun of him, the following will apply:

• The size of shoe should not be less than size 9 and 5 cms in diameter
• The shoe should weight atleast 800 grams
• The shoe should be flung in a manner to create maximum insult
• There should be atleast one camera capturing the event
• The shoe should not be less a month old
• The shoes should be certified as “throw worthy” by a body set up to regulate shoe throwing to be called National Shoe Authority (NSA)
• The National Shoe Authority will, if needed, certify shoes to be thrown on various categories of people including celebrities, sportspeople, movie stars and politicians. No shoe certified for use against a class of targets be used against any other under any circumstances, unless a deviation approval is obtained for the same.
• No shoes should be thrown at common citizens
• No foreigner can throw a shoe on Indian soil
• If a shoe is flung at a target in such a manner as to miss him; or the shoe misses him even after being thrown from distance of not more than 3 mts; or if a shoe has been thrown with the intend of gaining publicity; or if the shoe hits an unintended target; in such circumstances, the perpetrator will be offered another chance, provided the NSA is satisfied with the justification furnished by him and he offers a bank guarantee drawn on a government run bank to the tune of 1,00,000 before his second attempt
• The NSA may place an embargo of sufficient duration on a perpetrator who misuses this rule. The perpetrator can challenge this embargo in any court having sufficient jurisdiction
• A typical incident must be backed by a strong cause. No shoes should fly if the cause has not been endorsed by NSA
• If a shoe is flung at a couple, the same should hit any one of them
• If a perpetrator, flings a unauthorized shoe; or throws a shoe for a cause not endorsed by the NSA; or is found to have misused an approval granted; then the NSA will be free to initiate criminal proceedings against such elements


arun said…
May be we can have a new market for old shoes (throw worthy shoes), older the costlier
Prayukth said…
:) you will get a discount for surrendering your old shoes for buying new one :)
Apple said…
Yeah..The preamble is pretty much in place too..
Apple said…
Yeah..The preamble is pretty much in place too..

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