The National Shoe Act - 2009

Government of India is seriously considering enacting a National Shoe and Projectile Act to control shoe throwers let loose on the nation. Our sources in the Government have helped us procure a copy of this act and I am producing the same here to inform the esteemed readers of this blog.

Highlights of the new law:

1) If a shoe is thrown at a target with the intend of hurting his ego, insulting him or his party or to make fun of him, the following will apply:

• The size of shoe should not be less than size 9 and 5 cms in diameter
• The shoe should weight atleast 800 grams
• The shoe should be flung in a manner to create maximum insult
• There should be atleast one camera capturing the event
• The shoe should not be less a month old
• The shoes should be certified as “throw worthy” by a body set up to regulate shoe throwing to be called National Shoe Authority (NSA)
• The National Shoe Authority will, if needed, certify shoes to be thrown on various categories of people including celebrities, sportspeople, movie stars and politicians. No shoe certified for use against a class of targets be used against any other under any circumstances, unless a deviation approval is obtained for the same.
• No shoes should be thrown at common citizens
• No foreigner can throw a shoe on Indian soil
• If a shoe is flung at a target in such a manner as to miss him; or the shoe misses him even after being thrown from distance of not more than 3 mts; or if a shoe has been thrown with the intend of gaining publicity; or if the shoe hits an unintended target; in such circumstances, the perpetrator will be offered another chance, provided the NSA is satisfied with the justification furnished by him and he offers a bank guarantee drawn on a government run bank to the tune of 1,00,000 before his second attempt
• The NSA may place an embargo of sufficient duration on a perpetrator who misuses this rule. The perpetrator can challenge this embargo in any court having sufficient jurisdiction
• A typical incident must be backed by a strong cause. No shoes should fly if the cause has not been endorsed by NSA
• If a shoe is flung at a couple, the same should hit any one of them
• If a perpetrator, flings a unauthorized shoe; or throws a shoe for a cause not endorsed by the NSA; or is found to have misused an approval granted; then the NSA will be free to initiate criminal proceedings against such elements

Comments

Arun Mathew said…
May be we can have a new market for old shoes (throw worthy shoes), older the costlier
This comment has been removed by the author.
Apple said…
Yeah..The preamble is pretty much in place too..
Apple said…
Yeah..The preamble is pretty much in place too..
This comment has been removed by the author.

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