Dial a goon service from SRS
After harassing youngsters in the name of moral policing, hoodlum Inc Sree Ram Sena (SRS) has launched a new service to increase its revenue stream. The Dial-a-goon service, available at premium, allows customers to summon SRS goons for various purposes by simply dialing a toll free number.
This service will be initially available in Mangalore. “Customers can dial the number, speak to our customer service representative and register a request for a goon or mob. The customer has to describe the request which necessarily must include a moral angle and potential for violence and physical assault,” SRS spokesperson Mula "Ma'soum Afghani" said in Mangalore today.
Once the call is verified and the SRS team is convinced about the nature of the request, the media is informed and a goon or mob is dispatched to the venue within half an hour. To reduce the response time in far off places, SRS will be employing charter planes and choppers. In addition SRS will be setting up remote goon teams to reach ground zero as soon as possible. Once a customer logs in three actionable calls, he or she is automatically inducted into SRS. The ‘lucky customer’ is then made the head of a local mob with 26 henchmen under his command, ready to bash, thrash, smash and indulge in mind numbing violence within a minute’s notice.
According to sources, SRS has already issued ads in various newspapers calling for certified anti social Jurassic minded goons for various positions in SRS. “Our HR department is actively asking all amoeba brained mindless morons to join us at the earliest. We will help them feed their appetite for violence and destruction,” Mula said.
This service will be initially available in Mangalore. “Customers can dial the number, speak to our customer service representative and register a request for a goon or mob. The customer has to describe the request which necessarily must include a moral angle and potential for violence and physical assault,” SRS spokesperson Mula "Ma'soum Afghani" said in Mangalore today.
Once the call is verified and the SRS team is convinced about the nature of the request, the media is informed and a goon or mob is dispatched to the venue within half an hour. To reduce the response time in far off places, SRS will be employing charter planes and choppers. In addition SRS will be setting up remote goon teams to reach ground zero as soon as possible. Once a customer logs in three actionable calls, he or she is automatically inducted into SRS. The ‘lucky customer’ is then made the head of a local mob with 26 henchmen under his command, ready to bash, thrash, smash and indulge in mind numbing violence within a minute’s notice.
According to sources, SRS has already issued ads in various newspapers calling for certified anti social Jurassic minded goons for various positions in SRS. “Our HR department is actively asking all amoeba brained mindless morons to join us at the earliest. We will help them feed their appetite for violence and destruction,” Mula said.
seems like SOMEONE has an awesome process in place there.. ;)
ReplyDeleteMethod to the madness appy :))
ReplyDeleteGood one! Love the accuracy of the use of words in your writing. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThanks buddy... :)
ReplyDelete