Govt to control nosey anchors

In a move designed to prevent anchors from going overboard on national television, the ministry of misinformation and fraudcasting has decided to bring in a new law to regulate anchor behavior. According to a release issued on Saturday, the ministry was seriously contemplating a new law to control fidgety anchors and weird content.

“We have heard a lot about such anchors. The other day one of them was jumping on his desk, while his female colleague was making strange noises and giving strange stares to the guests. Needless to say, the guests and the audience were terrified,” minister for misinformation and fraudcasting told this blogger.

In the last few years, intensifying competition has bred a new generation of news anchors who are very aggressive, fidgety and nosey. This breed has taken over many news channels and are displaying deviant behavior on live TV that is having an adverse impact on the viewers.

This blogger has learnt that the new law would prevent anchors from displaying aggression on domestic guests. The law will however allow news channels from using such behavior against guests from hostile countries like Pakistan and if the channel warns viewers before airing the show. The law will also offer a definition for ‘breaking news’, so that news channels don’t go overboard with news snippets. Hitherto, news channels were passing on stuff like like “stray dog goes missing, pyjamma bandit on the loose” as breaking news.

The move has been welcomed by many viewers who feel that it will force channels to rein in their anchors. “Yesterday, I saw an anchor who was repeatedly poking his pen at the viewer and grinning like a psycho. I immediately changed the channel as I didn’t want my kids to panic,” claimed a viewer. “I have seen more civilized behavior in the wild, when I was a forest ranger,” claims another viewer. He hopes that channels will now accord more attention to onscreen anchor behavior.

Arnab Goatssawme, an anchor with news channel Crimes Now is however not amused. “We just get too excited. When I was in college, I used to jump everytime I knew the answer to a question. I also used to howl everytime my girlfriend kissed me and the whole world knew what had happened. My neighbors used to move out everytime there was a cricket match as I used to scream, shout and howl everytime India won. What’s the problem if I do it now on national TV,’ he asks.


Apple said…
hehehe..They seem to be behaving like Aliens.. :P
Prayukth said…
Yeap...seems like we have some extraterrestrial morons here :)

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