Aussie SOS to ICC: Bring Bucknor back

Australian skipper Ricky Ponting has asked the International Cricket Council to have umpiring clown Steve Bucknor officiate all the matches played by Australia. The skipper was addressing the media after his team was 2-0 down in the test series against rivals South Africa.

“We were the number one team in the world when Bucknor was around. He did a fantastic job by giving wrong decisions and even helped us bring pressure on other teams by mocking them. We really miss him,” Ponting said. Ponting went on to add that the Australian Cricket Board had already paid millions in bribe and Aussie citizenship to Bucknor and was not in a position to ‘purchase’ any more umpires. He attributed the recent slump in the national team performance to the lack of ‘bribe funds’ in the ACBs kitty.

The disgraced skipper urged ICC to bring Bucknor back at the earliest and extend funds to the ACB to purchase some of the umpires. “Else you will see us losing more often and soon we will be competing with Bangladesh and Namibia for the lowest rank in the global ratings. When a few of the media folks told Ponting that no country in the world wanted to see a arrogant team like Australia on top, Ponting got wild, switched off the microphone and mumbled something. The skipper later said that he was simply using the age old Aussie ritual of sledging to silence his critics in the media.

When asked about his team’s strategy in 2009, Ponting sounded optimistic. “With Bucknor’s return and the boys getting back into sledging and cheating form, we will be back on top. You cannot keep cheaters low for a long time, you see. If good teams are pushing us down, we know how to cheat our way back to the top,” Ponting claimed. He also said that Andrew “Monkey” Symonds was rested because the player had “literally forgotten the art of sledging”. “Besides no one seems to be afraid of his horrible limestone spitting, tamarind eating and alienish face anymore. He just looks like a clown now,” added Ponting.


Apple said…
Well now we know how havs the Aussies managed to stay on top 4so long...That is Some Strategy...

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