ISI chief admits to role in Mumbai blasts

Ahmad Shuja Pasha, the clown in charge of Al Qaeeda’s Pakistan arm ISI, was in the news recently for ISIs role in the Mumbai terror attack. Our correspondent grilled the general and he started spilling the beans..heres is the exclusive…

RS: How long will you be in denial? The entire world knows that Pakistan has orchestrated Mumbai attacks.

SP: Wheres the evidence?

RS: Oh come on Gen, the evidence has been shown to the world. There is a live terrorist who is having vegetarian meal three times a day at the cost of Indian exchequer in addition to tons of other inanimate stuff and you want evidence?

SP: I have always wanted evidence. I remember three decades ago, when the doctor came running and claimed that I have become a father, I without even winking asked him…wheres the evidence? You see we need evidence for everything and without that we don’t do anything.

RS: India would have confronted you with this evidence had you gone to New Delhi, when the Indian PM ordered you to.

SP: I was afraid. You see the Indians would have arrested me and interrogated me. I am a softie to the core and I would have spilled the beans easily That’s why we are sending someone who doesn’t know anything about the Mumbai plot.

RS: And who are you sending?

SP: This guy sells vegetables near the Jinnah memorial and we have thoroughly grilled him. He has repeatedly said that he doesn’t know anything about the Mumbai plot and is therefore an ideal candidate for dispatch to India. You see it was so tough to find a guy within ISI who didn’t know about the terror plot beforehand. In fact, even my facebook buddies knew it months ago.

RS: So ISI was indeed behind this barbaric incident. Why don’t you guys say so? If you have done it, be brave enough to claim that you have.

SP: We at ISI are very modest people. We believe in simply executing projects without claiming any credit for it. We believe in karma and the fruits…

RS: Oh shut up. What a load of baloney. You guys have been fooling the world and the only reason you haven’t claimed credit is that you are a bunch of lilly livered pink feathered cowards who wouldn’t know how to wear a pyjamma.

SP: Actually, even my wife says so…did you speak to her before this interview?

RS: Are you afraid of a military intervention by India?

SP: You gotta be joking. Of course I am. The entire army of Pakistan put together cannot even defend a tea stall. Worse, these clowns in uniform have gotten used to be being thrashed by the Indian Army. If India attacks Pakistan, you will see me headed to Saudi Arabia on the first PIA flight. I don’t want to stay on to see India controlling Pakistan.