India's moon mission and Pakistan's goon mission

In what could be construed as a response to India's efforts to expand its space exploration horizon, Pakistan has announced its plans for space research. Pakistan wants to become the first country to put a terrorist in orbit. This was revealed by Raza Hussain, Chairman of Pakistan Space and Upper Atmosphere Research Commission (SUPARCO) at a press conference organized in Karachi.

Raza said that off late SUPARCO was focusing on path breaking new initiatives to inject fresh life into the nation's sagging space programme. Pakistan's only presence in space so far is a satellite PAKSAT-1, situated at 38 degree E Long in a geo stationary orbit. This satellite has been leased from Hughes Global and the lease period will expire in 2011.

"Our aim is to become the first country to put a terrorist in orbit by 2040. We are working closely with China, which has copied technology from Russia and USA for this goal," he said. When asked as to why Pakistan wanted to send a terrorist to space, he said "we have so far exported terrorists to India, USA, UK, Afghanistan, China and the list is endless. Today we have a terrorist in almost all major nations. Now is the time to look beyond earth".

Pakistan's space dreams will be fuelled by modified missiles imported from China and North Korea. "We plan to integrate the Chinese and Korean rockets and use solid propellant (provided by China from the fireworks leftover after the Beijing Olympics)," Raza claimed. It has also identified a bunch of future astronauts (suicide bombers) from its terrorist infested NWFP province for the project. "The recruits are more than willing to be part of this project as that's exactly what they are supposed to do; die here or there," a SUPARCO insider told this blogger.

"The initial plan is to have a terrorist orbit the earth in a low earth orbit and the subsequent missions may see a terrorist land on the moon. The branding team in ISI is right now working on naming an organization to which these terrorists will be affiliated to. I guess the name they have frozen on is the Moonian Mujaheedeen. If everything goes well, these guys may even blow themselves up on the moon," Raza informed.

The terrorists will also release threatening videos before touching down. "Some of these guys are also learning how to issue threats in sign language as the audio quality may not be up to the mark," the SUPARCO insider claimed.