Political forecast

The week ahead for politicians by the renowned astrologer Deadpan Hoochwala

Aries: indulging in human trafficking will bring in much needed moolah. Expect income from hitherto unknown sources. This is the right time to switch parties to gain a ministerial berth.

Taurus: you better watch out else you could end up becoming the victim of a well crafted sting operation. Also do not indulge in your usual afternoon siesta in parliament you may see some really scary nightmares.

Gemini: your other face will be exposed this week. Keep a face wash ready..just in case. Encounter with citizens of your constituency may lead to a wardrobe malfunction.

Cancer: your affair with your neighbor will be exposed. Keep a good excuse handy.

Leo: Your position this week is simply weak. Changing clothes wont help, a interview with Karan Thapar is destined, so be prepared.

Virgo: throwing slippers in parliament can help deflect attention from an important issue in your constituency. The slipper should be thrown at a 45 degree angle to attain maximum benefits.

Libra: Avoid eating food in the parliament canteen. A journo in disguise is waiting for you there. Hang Himesh Reshmiya’s pic outside your office to ward off evil eye.

Scorpio: kickbacks are in order; not from any deals, but from the public. Your ex-girlfriend could deface your facebook profile…

Sagittarius: problems will arise from an argument with your mother-in-law. Be careful else you might end up with problems with the law. You wont be able to sleep peacefully in parliament this week.

Capricorn: Making promises wont help. It is advisable to undertake that padyathra that you have been avoiding. Avoid pretty news reporters…they can cause many unwanted developments in your life.

Aquarius: do not challenge anyone to duel on the floor of the house. Your stars are weak and you may have to face a humiliating defeat.

Pisces: your role in some scam/scandal may be exposed this week. Maintain a low profile and shift to a convenient back bench in parliament.

Comments

Apple said…
This one's funny..and i like how u actully cameup with12crisp forecasts.. :)
and i should not say much..as per my zodiac..i might invite a humiliatingdefeat.. ;)
Prayukth said…
dear app..

This is only for politicans yaar...not for human beings like u an me ;)

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