Bush's exclusive interview
Bush is on his way out. In a few months the man would be nothing, but a memory in the minds of many, though he has left an ineffaceable mark of his legacy on the White House. We met the dude in his Texas ranch and asked a few questions. Heres the exclusive interview conducted just for you.
RS: In a few months, you will be leaving office, any regrets? Do you feel that there was something you could have done, but couldn’t do?
Dubya: Yeah, plenty of things are there on my list. Many of these things can actually be executed by my successor, so I am not overtly worried. My biggest regret is to have not met superheroes like Batman, Superman and Spiderman.
RS: Are you serious? I mean what about Laden, Al Qaeda and Iraq etc?
Dubya: As I said, these are things even my successor could take care off. The reason why I entered White House is to meet these noble men (superheroes) and find out how they work. I have always wanted to meet them. Imagine how disappointed I was when the CIA told me that these folks were not real. How can they be unreal I have read so many stories about them and watched so many movies…I just cant understand.
RS: Many say one that one of your key policy failures is in focusing on Iraq instead of the heartland of terror- Pakistan.
Dubya: Who told you so? That country has received special attention from me; why do you think I allowed Pakistan to be run by my personal stooge? Musharraf, along with doing routine chores around the white house, also used to brief me on the situation in that country, every month.
RS: But you did have a problem in getting him to remove his uniform, right?
Dubya: you must understand, the guy didn’t have anything else in life. We never understood his real needs and once we did that, getting him to remove his uniform was a cinch. He wanted a GI Joe set for himself along with Calvin and Hobbes Yukon Ho paperback, in addition to 25 Pokemon dhothis. Once we gave him all this, he just signed his papers.
RS: Now whats the plan for Iraq?
Dubya: I have chalked up a really neat plan for Iraq, one that quite feasible.
RS: and what might that be.
Dubya: Let my successor handle it. (Starts laughing uncontrollably and almost chokes on his pretzel).
RS: You are planting your missiles in various countries. Whats the need for this?
Dubya: Oh this is a must. Didn’t you see Independence Day, the movie? I don’t want earth to face a similar situation, when the aliens invade.
RS: So all this is directed against the aliens?
Dubya: Yes, against the moonians, the martians, the jupitirians…even the plutoids..
RS: But theres no life on these planets.
Dubya: precisely, its just like the weapons of mass destruction that Iraq has. Noone knows where they are but they are out there somewhere. Besides, these pyjamma stealers can invade any time on some flimsy pretext.
RS: the weapons of mass destruction for which you went to war were never found.
Dubya: That’s because Saddam had moved em to Iran. So now we must start all over again with Iran. I am getting a bit tired of this.
RS: In a few months, you will be leaving office, any regrets? Do you feel that there was something you could have done, but couldn’t do?
Dubya: Yeah, plenty of things are there on my list. Many of these things can actually be executed by my successor, so I am not overtly worried. My biggest regret is to have not met superheroes like Batman, Superman and Spiderman.
RS: Are you serious? I mean what about Laden, Al Qaeda and Iraq etc?
Dubya: As I said, these are things even my successor could take care off. The reason why I entered White House is to meet these noble men (superheroes) and find out how they work. I have always wanted to meet them. Imagine how disappointed I was when the CIA told me that these folks were not real. How can they be unreal I have read so many stories about them and watched so many movies…I just cant understand.
RS: Many say one that one of your key policy failures is in focusing on Iraq instead of the heartland of terror- Pakistan.
Dubya: Who told you so? That country has received special attention from me; why do you think I allowed Pakistan to be run by my personal stooge? Musharraf, along with doing routine chores around the white house, also used to brief me on the situation in that country, every month.
RS: But you did have a problem in getting him to remove his uniform, right?
Dubya: you must understand, the guy didn’t have anything else in life. We never understood his real needs and once we did that, getting him to remove his uniform was a cinch. He wanted a GI Joe set for himself along with Calvin and Hobbes Yukon Ho paperback, in addition to 25 Pokemon dhothis. Once we gave him all this, he just signed his papers.
RS: Now whats the plan for Iraq?
Dubya: I have chalked up a really neat plan for Iraq, one that quite feasible.
RS: and what might that be.
Dubya: Let my successor handle it. (Starts laughing uncontrollably and almost chokes on his pretzel).
RS: You are planting your missiles in various countries. Whats the need for this?
Dubya: Oh this is a must. Didn’t you see Independence Day, the movie? I don’t want earth to face a similar situation, when the aliens invade.
RS: So all this is directed against the aliens?
Dubya: Yes, against the moonians, the martians, the jupitirians…even the plutoids..
RS: But theres no life on these planets.
Dubya: precisely, its just like the weapons of mass destruction that Iraq has. Noone knows where they are but they are out there somewhere. Besides, these pyjamma stealers can invade any time on some flimsy pretext.
RS: the weapons of mass destruction for which you went to war were never found.
Dubya: That’s because Saddam had moved em to Iran. So now we must start all over again with Iran. I am getting a bit tired of this.
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