Showing posts from April, 2008

Wanted: a nanny for BCCI

Fed up of unacceptable player behavior, the Bored of Controlling Cricket in India (BCCI) has finally decided to crack the whip. In what could be called as the first fallout of the Bhajji-Sree fracas, BCCI has decided to appoint a nanny for disciplining the Indian cricket team.

"I am fed up of these cricketers behaving like politicians and two-year olds. Let them behave responsibly if they have to play for the country," Sharad Power, BCCi chief told this site in an exclusive interview today. Power said that the Nanny will be given full disciplinary powers, including that of establishing check-in-check-out timings, mediating in fights and spanking and canning, if needed. The nanny will be fully responsible for off field behavior of the players and she can take any step in the regard.

The new nanny will be introduced towards the end of the current IPl season.BCCI is also planning to ask the nanny to monitor the players' internet usage and also the type of programs that the …

India threatens to unlesh Puppy Lahiri

India is finally talking tough with China. Learn what the country is doing to counter the dragon on its Eastern frontier.

Border violations, non-cooperation at international fora, illegal claims on Indian territory and what not? Fed up with the growing belligerent posture adopted by China, India has threatened to post alleged music director and fashion i-con Puppy Lahiri as its ambassador to Beijing.

Sources have told this site that the matter was under "active consideration" at highest echelons within the government and that the same has been conveyed to the Chinese. The move, having the blessings of the PMO, is being made to check China's growing recklessness in its relationship with India.

Puppy lahiri, when contacted was ecstatic about the development."Yes, I have been approached and I have given my consent. I feel that with my musical charms, I can enamor the Chinese into submission,” he said. The real reason however seems to be the type of music Puppyda has been …

A shocking book indeed...

The book is set in the year is 3360. Human beings have been wiped out from the face of the earth, thanks to a meteor strike that happened more than a century and a half ago. A small group of survivors had managed to leave the earth in a spaceship to find a hospitable planet in another galaxy (thanks to wormholes. Generations later a team of these neo-humans return to the earth to survey it.

They find a completely changed planet. All the continents have fused to form a super continent. Antarctica, covered by ice in the 21st century is now a tropical paradise, filled with lush green forests and meandering rivers. North America resides on the north pole and is nothing but a cold desert with miles of ice. India is also near North America, where Canada once existed.

Mammals have all but disappeared except for an evolved form of rats. Elephant sized mosquitoes are all over the place and bamboos with motile leaves are the dominant vegetation. The competition for food is intense as plant…

E-comic zones

In a bid to encourage freedom of expression through art and cinema, the Indian government has decided to open up e-comic zones. These zones, to be modeled on the lines of the special economic zones, e-comic zones will allow movie makers, social analysts, musicians,artists and others to showcase their work without being harrassed by unruly mobs, politicians or anti-social elements.

Elaborating on the development, minister for Misinformation and Fraudcasting, Priyaranjan ________ said "theaters, cinema halls, culture centers and exhibition halls can be declared as Special e-comic Zones. For this the owner has to apply to the ministry". Once a hall or a center is declared as a SEZ, special rules will apply to that place. Law enforcement agencies cannot enter the area without special permits and entry for people will also be severely restricted. Entry will be regulated by the owner and will be solely decided by him. Such centers will be permitted to screen controversial movies, w…

Download the new virtual Olympics game

The word is out on the street. Virtual gaming major Illintendo has launched its latest game series themed on the recent Tibetan protests against the Chinese government.

The game to be launched next week will present users with varied difficulty levels with the ultimate objective being to disrupt the Beijing Olympics. On entering the virtual world, the player dons the avtar of a monk determined to irritate the Chinese government.

In the first level, the monk has to lead a mob and storm the Chinese embassy in a foreign country and replace the Chinese flag with a Tibetan one. The flag swap has to be done swiftly by avoiding the local cops.
After clearing this round, for the next level, the player has to easting's the Olympic torch and pour water over Beijing's flame of passion. In the next round, the player lands in the Chinese capital and has to disrupt the opening ceremony of the games. In this round, the player is pitted against the merciless peoples liberation army folks who ki…

Commies will carry the Olympic torch in India

Commies will go to any length to please China

In a move designed to please his Chinese masters, commie general secretary, Prakash Carrot wants to carry the Olympic torch during the Indian leg of its journey. Carrot has said that he will not only carry the torch, but also ensure that no one harms it or disrupts the run.

Carrot has already issued a warning to all Tibetans, saying that he will personally deal with anyone who tries to act smart during the event. He has directed all commie cadres in the country, including the meawists, to ensure that the torch passes peacefully from the country. When reminded of China's human rights record, carrot virtually pounced on the journalist and had to be pulled back. Carrot claimed that some anti-china war mongers were behind all such rumors. "China has an impeccable human rights record and they treat their citizens with great care, which is the reason why many of them are being looked after in government jails and political amendment camp…

Parliamentary Wrestling Federation

Parliamentary Wrestling Federation takes off

With a eye on grabbing eyeballs and resolving some of the most "pressing issues" before parliament, the Indian government has decided to launch the Parliamentary Wrestling Federation.

The federation will give MPs a chance to thrash their opponents in the ring over a freestyle bout and resolve issues of contention among members. The ring will be set up in the central hall of parliament and will help members go beyond words and take matters in their own hands - literally. All bouts will be organized at designated hours and the time needed will be carved out from the existing question hour, which will now extend to just 20 minutes. During this time, all questions for the day will be raised and if the concerned minster wishes, he can give a verbal or written reply or let his punches do the talking. However, if the member is not satisfied with the reply given by the minister, he can challenge the former for a round in the ring.

The wre…