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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

typical movie plot

Like ammir is a scientist with the National Mineral research Coperation and is doing some studies near Jammu when he comes to know that during world war 11, some britishers had buried a nuke bomb somewhere in Kashmir. Kajol is a third generation american who is facing charges of plagarism on her very first novel How chappel got famous, got worn and was thrown away. She returns to India and meets Ammir khan and the due pledge to work for world peace and start searching for the bomb...In the meantime, jackie chan who is like a bhojpuri farmer come often to srinagar to sell rice also meets the due gets impressed by their work and decides to join them. The plot gets murkier when amir comes to know that the device may go up anytime now so he frantically starts searching. But a combination of corrupt ministers headed by a HRD minister tries to prevent him by hiring bounty hunter A K Hangal (a former nobel peace prize winning Wrestler) to finish amir and kajol off...needless to say ammir and kajol win this battle


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Funny movie subtitles

Funny Movie Subtitles From Hong Kong Martial Art Movies:


"I threat you! I challenge you meet me on the roof tonight for a duet!"

"I will kill you until you are dead from it!"
"The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?"
"I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!"
"I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way."
"Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep."
"I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!"
"You are too useless. And now I must beat you."
"Gun wounds again?"
"A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries."
"You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken."
"Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."
"Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected."
"Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?"
"Quiet or I'll blow your throat up."
"You daring lousy guy."

"Beat him out of recognizable shape!"
"How can you use my intestines as a gift?"
"Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!"
"This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat."
"Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination."
"Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some @$$ of the giant lizard person."
Your spear is useless... You better use it for mixing excretory.
Now I feel flatulent, and you did it.
My innards have all been disturbed by him.
That may disarray my intestines.
I please your uterus. You kiss my toes. It's fair.
"This is the Martial Arts Competition, not a place for fighting!" (from Kung Fu)
A normal person wouldn't steel pituitaries! (from Brain Theft)

COmments would be appriciated


Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Bangalore goin to dogs??

The local stray dogs association in bangalore yesterday night took out a procession to attack the state government for neglecting their plight. Police have reported incidents of violence from various parts of the city till the wee hours of Thursday morning. A software engineer was attacked by a bunch of cannines while returning from work and another attack resulted in severe wardrobe malfunction when a ploitician was stripped of his white dhoti by a angry bunch. Another cannine mob ransacked a local police station near Brigade road as additional central reserve force companies were deployed in various sensitive parts of the city to curb violence.

The Stray dogs Association of Bangalore (SDB) has demanded healthcare and other benefits to be extended to them. It has also asked the state government to stop agressive daytime patroling resulting in the arrest of many of top SAB leaders in the recent past. The SDB secretary was taken into preventive custody by cops late yesterday night while in a early morning swoop, many howling cannies were arrested and translocated to "distant locations" by the men in uniform. A SDB delegation also met CM kumaaaraaswaaamyyy today and presneted a memorandum to him on the plight of stray dogs. Infact, the Bangalore cannines complained that their Hyderabad counterparts are getting better treatment and have accsess to social security benefits and contributary pension which were not provided for the Bangalore wolverian descendents.

The entire incident has left a bad rotten egg taste for the new Government in Karanataka which was just finding its feet after a series of spats between the ruling allys. In fact, deve gowda had writen a letter to his son asking for special provisions to be provided to these cannies at the earliest or he would go on a fast unto death. Deve gowda said that he will appeal to the central government for intevention in the crises to seek a resolution at the earliest. On being asked to clarify his stand, deve gowda went into a deep slumber and only snoring was heard after that. Two of his assistants then asked the media men who had assembled there to disperese as deve gowda was now in a deep thought stage wherein he was pondering on the plight of the poor in India.


The CM has appealed for calm and has promised to look into the demands for the cannine association soon. In a fit of ususal rage, Kumaaraswamyyy blasted three bureaucrats who he claimed had not handled the situation "well." On being asked as to why he was coming down on the bureaucrats everytime, the CM said that it is these guys who fumble everyting. Some media men noted that the CM was often seen blasting the same set of bureacrats everytime for all connecetd and disconnected decisions, the CM said that he was yound and dynamic so he wants to keep his circle of anger limited for now...


CM said that his party will open up a new department to look into issues concerning the welfare of the stray cannines. He assured the delegation that his government would also sponser a visit by a cannie delegation to Pakistan to interact with the cannine rights groups there.

Stray dogs Association of Bangalore, President told us over the phone that the agreement was arrived at in good faith and that new areas of cooperation would also be identified and worked at by the two sides. He also appriciated the role played by the CM and his father in the whole incident. "many connsider deve gowda as hurdle to the progress of Bangalore..I agree with this but in case of stray cannine welfare, he has shown tremendous wisdom which indicates that he has some amounts of the same," he said. The Association would hold a programme to felicitate the CM and his father soon it is learned.

The stand off had already affected many residents who are complaining of lack of sleep in the lest few days.

Dogters...

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