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Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
The plan was outlined in an informal meet the press organised by Trinamool Congress spokesperson and Ra.One enthusiast Dereck O Frian today morning. "We are aware of media reports that have overplayed the clogging concerns associated with a Wi-fi roll out in Kolkata. I am here to clarify that such concerns are unfounded and based on a foundation that is as strong as the one Jinnah used to create Pakistan," O Frian said.
Humor Unplugged got hold of the document he was waving and got to know the tactics lined up by Mamata government to resolve the issue.
Here are some of the highlights of the plan
- People found downloading more than 2 MB of data will be lathi charged and chased away
- Those who download over 10 MB will be categorized as maoists and will disappear without a trace
- Those using the free Wifi to criticize the state government or its minions will be forcefully deposited in a psychiatric facility
- Those downloading movies will be forced to work in the publicity wing of the state government
- Those found downloading data for more than an hour will be forced to attend CM's rallies. They will also have to compose and sing a poem dedicated to the state CM
- Heads of those sharing selfies using state Wifi will be shaved
O Frian slithered away after sharing these points and we were not able to question him.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
In what could be construed as a sign of increasing warmth in Indo-US ties US president Barack Obama and Indian PM Modi have agreed to do a duet in bollywood. The decision will.be made public sometime tommorow evening, sources close to the Indian government told Humor Unplugged.
Coming on the heels of the agreement on liability as part of the civilian nuclear deal, experts on both sides agree that this duet will go a long way in cementing ties and taking Indo-US relationship to the next level.
"The Indian government is working to identify a suitable movie and song which will be on the lines of yeh dosti from Sholey to execute the agreement. I will share an update on this soon" a BJP source said.
The left parties meanwhile condemned the move terming it derogatory and "downright littoral in intellectual appeal".
Pakistan claimed that the duet will not adversely affect Pako-US ties. "Pakistans leadership has always danced to US tunes. We will upgrade this dance to a duet soon" a Pakistani leader said.
Friday, November 14, 2014
"Rohit Sharma was the real winner today and cricket came a close second," he said. A few folks in the audience fainted and few felt like Neetu Singh after Katrina Kaif dropped by, as soon as they heard these words from Shastri's mouth. No one could believe the former Indian cricketer could say that.
"In the world of commentary cliches, Ravi Shastri occupies a whole nation covering an area greater than Brazil. One can actually predict what he is going to say hours before he says it and here we were seeing the dude admit that someone other than cricket actually won as compared to cricket. And this is a big thing," Bored Massomdar, cricket historian and all round loudmouth said.
The markets reacted positively to the statement with the BSE sensex rising by 400 points on Friday morning. The NSE was also up 57 points.
Finance minister Arun Jaitley meanwhile said that the government was working with Ravi Shastri to reduce the number of cliches used by him in a typical commentary session.
Sri Lanka meanwhile promised to arrest at least 40 Indian fishermen in retaliation for Rohit's innings.