NDTV has decided to start a new series that will blend the concepts of two serials based on hypnotic regression and lie detection. According to sources close to the company, the new serial will go on air as early as middle of next month and will strech the concept of these two serials further to harass a hapless audience further.
The new serial tentatively titled "Pichley Janam key Sach ka Samna (PJKSKS) will include subjects who have undergone hypnotic regression on its serial "Raaz Pichley Janam ka (RPJK)". In PJKSKS, these subjects will be subject to a lie detector test during hypnotic regression to asertain if he or she is telling the truth or simply chucking bundles at a IQ deficient audience.
NDTV grandpa Pranoy Roy has been personally pushing the concept of PJKSKS. "We have seen that many of our subjects are simply lying. There was a guy who claimed that was King George II in his previous life...while our subsequent investigations revealed that he was a circus clown in his previous avtar. This is when I asked my team to devise a method to identify such clowns and have people tell the truth. We are sure that PJKSKS will expose those who make tall claims during hypotic regression," Roy told this blogger.
Meanwhile the bogus past life regression doctor who appears in RPJK has been nominated as India's climate negoitator. She will be joinging the national climate negotiation team based in New Delhi and will partake in all future negotiations that India will be participating in. "We just saw her decided that we need to have her in our team. She is strong, assertive, aggressive and can actually maim people with her scary looks (she is a retired Ramsay bros ghost). With her in the team, none of the developed nations can push us into signing any agreement that we dont want to enter. Besides if push comes to shove, she can make all these guys cook up a unbelievable story under hypnotic regression," a senior external affairs ministry guy said.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
What can Tiger Woods do now?
Dr. Hammerschmidst, noted strayologist and fling expert on what the disgraced golfer can do from here on
* Star in a reality show to keep the moolah coming
* Write his autobiography and let the book hit the stands within the next two weeks, before the world forgets him
* Tie up with Shiny Ahuja for a book on straying from marriage
* Change his name to more a numerologically acceptable “Tiger in the woods”
* Start a PGA (Professional Goons Association) for hubbies who have strayed and have fallen from the high pedestal of public admiration
* Check if there are ladies out there who still want to date him – the current figure of his flings stands at 11 (according to US Fed reserve); he should try and round it off to a more memorable 20
* Check with Pranoy Roy and see if he can appear on that rebirth serial that is playing on NDTV Imagine…Tiger can simply blame his previous life for his current woes
* Or he can invent a new medical syndrome to explain his adventures
* Blame recession for his predicament
* Stay in touch with Mahesh Bhatt to check if the latter can do a sequel to Aarth called Anarth staring the world famous golfer who can swing on and off field
* Star in a reality show to keep the moolah coming
* Write his autobiography and let the book hit the stands within the next two weeks, before the world forgets him
* Tie up with Shiny Ahuja for a book on straying from marriage
* Change his name to more a numerologically acceptable “Tiger in the woods”
* Start a PGA (Professional Goons Association) for hubbies who have strayed and have fallen from the high pedestal of public admiration
* Check if there are ladies out there who still want to date him – the current figure of his flings stands at 11 (according to US Fed reserve); he should try and round it off to a more memorable 20
* Check with Pranoy Roy and see if he can appear on that rebirth serial that is playing on NDTV Imagine…Tiger can simply blame his previous life for his current woes
* Or he can invent a new medical syndrome to explain his adventures
* Blame recession for his predicament
* Stay in touch with Mahesh Bhatt to check if the latter can do a sequel to Aarth called Anarth staring the world famous golfer who can swing on and off field
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Funny pics for the week gone by...
Punishment for eve teasing...
Some of you will be marrying one of these in the next 50 years
This lady led a popular protest at Copenhagen..no prizes for guessing why
The new missile
Are these guys serious? Leaders and wake up???
The Chinese dont spare kids...
They dont spare robots either
This is gotta be the picture of the week
Some of you will be marrying one of these in the next 50 years
This lady led a popular protest at Copenhagen..no prizes for guessing why
The new missile
Are these guys serious? Leaders and wake up???
The Chinese dont spare kids...
They dont spare robots either
This is gotta be the picture of the week
Pak to reduce terror licenses
In a move designed to reduce resource stress and regulate the booming terror industry in the country, the Pakistani government has decided to reduce the number of terror licenses issued by it to terror groups operating within its territory. It may be remembered that the Pakistani terror regulator Terror Regulatory Authority of Pakistan (TRAP) had in the past issued licenses to terrorist groups to support and regulate the terrorism industry. TRAP, established as a independent body under the Pakistani Defense ministry, has been working overtime in the last few months to balance budgetary constrains, international pressure and internal conflicts to ensure equitable distribution of state resources to terror groups.
"We are facing the same situation that the Telecom Regulatory Authority in India is facing - too many players and few resources. In addition to our home grown terror groups like Lashkar and Jaish, we have foreign groups also who are operating from here. Our licensing policy can no longer support the growth that terror industry has seen over the last few years. We are therefore overhauling the policy framework to iron out a few fault lines that have been identified," Pakistani terror minister said on the sidelines of a national terror summit organized in Lahore on Friday.
At present, Pakistan is divided into 7 terror circles with 4 licensed operators operating in each circuit. Lashkar, Jaish and Al Qaeeda are among groups who have a pan-Pakistan license while groups such as Al Pungee have licenses for two-three circles. The mushrooming of groups has led to breakneck competition and free fall in rates charged by them to execute a terror activity. During the days when recession was on, few terrorists who were on the bench, broke away from their parent groups and started their own ventures.
Pakistan is also running out of free land to offer to terror groups to create nurseries. An attempt to create Special Terror Zones in various cities ran into rough weather recently, with various NGOs questioning the land acquisition process.
"We are facing the same situation that the Telecom Regulatory Authority in India is facing - too many players and few resources. In addition to our home grown terror groups like Lashkar and Jaish, we have foreign groups also who are operating from here. Our licensing policy can no longer support the growth that terror industry has seen over the last few years. We are therefore overhauling the policy framework to iron out a few fault lines that have been identified," Pakistani terror minister said on the sidelines of a national terror summit organized in Lahore on Friday.
At present, Pakistan is divided into 7 terror circles with 4 licensed operators operating in each circuit. Lashkar, Jaish and Al Qaeeda are among groups who have a pan-Pakistan license while groups such as Al Pungee have licenses for two-three circles. The mushrooming of groups has led to breakneck competition and free fall in rates charged by them to execute a terror activity. During the days when recession was on, few terrorists who were on the bench, broke away from their parent groups and started their own ventures.
Pakistan is also running out of free land to offer to terror groups to create nurseries. An attempt to create Special Terror Zones in various cities ran into rough weather recently, with various NGOs questioning the land acquisition process.
The new book in town...
If you want to have a separate state or want to hold the government hostage to meet your silly demands...read this one...
Now Bollywood wants a separate state
According to reports coming in from agency sources, Bollywood has become the latest entity to ask for a separate state. Union Home Minister Chidambaram has confirmed to this blogger (over a facebook wall post) that he has indeed received a memorandum from the a team from bollywood stating this demand.
“Considering the amount of drama we create, it becomes essential for us to have a separate state. Besides we are contributing plenty of tax money to government coffers and have our own share of controversies and lows. If you look at all this, we do have a strong case in this context,” bloated director Mahesh Bhatt said. He was in fact the only bollywood guy idle enough to offer his take on the whole issue.
Mahesh Bhatt has been asked to identify a set of actors for staging an indefinite fast to pressurize the Indian government on the issue. “I have already been inundated by applications from so many actors on this. Many are viewing the indefinite fast as an opportunity to shed those extra pounds of flab accumulated over the years. I have made it amply clear that we only need people who already look malnourished and can gather enough sympathy within days of fasting (and not months). We have folks who could fast for years together without anyone noticing and this is why I had to say no to Bhappi Uncle,” Bhatt said.
Elaborating on the strategy to build pressure on government, Bhatt said “its very simple. First we go on fast and if the government doesn’t budge, we will start unleashing some of the biggest weapons we have in our arsenal. We will ask Himesh to launch another movie and ask cinema halls and multiplexes around the country to play only that movie till government agrees to back down. If this doesn’t work, we will ask him and Bhappi da to go on a nationwide tour and we are quite sure that this will bring them around…”
IPL wants a separate state too..
In a related development, IPL commissioner Lalit Modi has asked the government to give a separate state to IPL. In a statement issued after he was thrashed by Congressmen after the RCA polls, a deflated Modi asked the government to carve out a separate state on “economic and sympathetic grounds” for IPL.
“They are thrashing me wherever I go. Be it RCA, MCA or even the LCA (Lakshadweep Cricket Association) and this has to stop. I will go on an indefinite fast till government agrees to meet my demand. I will stop accepting all those wades of currency notes thrown at me by sponsors and chase away advertisers, till such time,” Modi said. He was thrashed again after making this statement and had to be dragged to a nearby hospital. He was discharged after first aid only to be brought back in as a huge crowd gathered outside to thrash him again.
“Considering the amount of drama we create, it becomes essential for us to have a separate state. Besides we are contributing plenty of tax money to government coffers and have our own share of controversies and lows. If you look at all this, we do have a strong case in this context,” bloated director Mahesh Bhatt said. He was in fact the only bollywood guy idle enough to offer his take on the whole issue.
Mahesh Bhatt has been asked to identify a set of actors for staging an indefinite fast to pressurize the Indian government on the issue. “I have already been inundated by applications from so many actors on this. Many are viewing the indefinite fast as an opportunity to shed those extra pounds of flab accumulated over the years. I have made it amply clear that we only need people who already look malnourished and can gather enough sympathy within days of fasting (and not months). We have folks who could fast for years together without anyone noticing and this is why I had to say no to Bhappi Uncle,” Bhatt said.
Elaborating on the strategy to build pressure on government, Bhatt said “its very simple. First we go on fast and if the government doesn’t budge, we will start unleashing some of the biggest weapons we have in our arsenal. We will ask Himesh to launch another movie and ask cinema halls and multiplexes around the country to play only that movie till government agrees to back down. If this doesn’t work, we will ask him and Bhappi da to go on a nationwide tour and we are quite sure that this will bring them around…”
IPL wants a separate state too..
In a related development, IPL commissioner Lalit Modi has asked the government to give a separate state to IPL. In a statement issued after he was thrashed by Congressmen after the RCA polls, a deflated Modi asked the government to carve out a separate state on “economic and sympathetic grounds” for IPL.
“They are thrashing me wherever I go. Be it RCA, MCA or even the LCA (Lakshadweep Cricket Association) and this has to stop. I will go on an indefinite fast till government agrees to meet my demand. I will stop accepting all those wades of currency notes thrown at me by sponsors and chase away advertisers, till such time,” Modi said. He was thrashed again after making this statement and had to be dragged to a nearby hospital. He was discharged after first aid only to be brought back in as a huge crowd gathered outside to thrash him again.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Images from the week gone by...focus on Tiger Woods
"Dont you dare act like Tiger Woods" Steffi to her hubby
Did someone say Tiger Woods is here? Woods girlfriends get ready to meet him.
Tiger Wood's Mongolian girlfriend after burning a house belonging to one of her rivals
How women manage Tiger type hubbies in Iraq
Another one of Tiger's ladies after thrashing a rival...
Pakistani version of matrix being shot in Lahore
Friendship is like this...I guess :)
Did someone say Tiger Woods is here? Woods girlfriends get ready to meet him.
Tiger Wood's Mongolian girlfriend after burning a house belonging to one of her rivals
How women manage Tiger type hubbies in Iraq
Another one of Tiger's ladies after thrashing a rival...
Pakistani version of matrix being shot in Lahore
Friendship is like this...I guess :)
Saif Ali Khan's autobiography is out..
Meanwhile, noted actor and dude with a string of affairs Saif Ali Khan released his autobiography at a thinly attended press conference in Mumbai on Monday. The book titled “I am here to stray” chronicles his famous escapades during his blissful married life. Sources say that the actor has taken a leaf out of the recent Tiger Woods affair to come out with his own version of flings during his two decade long innings in the Indian film industry.
The ceremony was attended by prominent strays such as Aamir Khan, Rahul Mahajan and others. Aamir hailed the book and termed it as a "must read for those who seek to travel in two boats at the same time". In addition to one on a famous actress who Saif is currently dating, there are chapters dedicated to each one of his flings in this 55 page book. Sources close to the actor (close enough to have seen his Tattoos) told this blogger that the actor has been quite frank in the book. While referring to the recent incident of straying by Tiger Woods, the economy sized Nawab says "Tiger is a wimp and a coward who seeks excuses to bring his affairs out in the open”.
I am here to stray has been published by Dodo Books and is available in grocery stores across the country.
The ceremony was attended by prominent strays such as Aamir Khan, Rahul Mahajan and others. Aamir hailed the book and termed it as a "must read for those who seek to travel in two boats at the same time". In addition to one on a famous actress who Saif is currently dating, there are chapters dedicated to each one of his flings in this 55 page book. Sources close to the actor (close enough to have seen his Tattoos) told this blogger that the actor has been quite frank in the book. While referring to the recent incident of straying by Tiger Woods, the economy sized Nawab says "Tiger is a wimp and a coward who seeks excuses to bring his affairs out in the open”.
I am here to stray has been published by Dodo Books and is available in grocery stores across the country.
Indian politicians anguished by Tiger’s behavior
“We condemn this transgression and travesty of established social rules perpetrated by Shri Tiger Woods in the strongest possible terms. The political and moral community in India based in parliament and operating with the strongest sense of fairness and justice is indeed hurt and anguished by the behavior of Shri Woods,” said Chavvani Lal, Minister for Extra Marital Affairs, Government of India in a written reply to a question raised by a ‘concerned member' on the recent la affaire de Woods being played out in the global media.
Cutting across party lines during zero hour, members of parliament, condemned Tiger Woods for his unilateral act and urged US government to take stringent action against the top golfer. “We should make an example out of this guy,” said one MP. “Why doesn’t someone throw a shoe at him,” said another. Some members asked the Indian government to come out with a whitepaper on extra marital affairs of celebs and take steps to discourage them from straying from marriage.
When Chavvani Lal asked members to furnish information on their extra marital affairs, many members were seen leaving the parliament quietly.
Cutting across party lines during zero hour, members of parliament, condemned Tiger Woods for his unilateral act and urged US government to take stringent action against the top golfer. “We should make an example out of this guy,” said one MP. “Why doesn’t someone throw a shoe at him,” said another. Some members asked the Indian government to come out with a whitepaper on extra marital affairs of celebs and take steps to discourage them from straying from marriage.
When Chavvani Lal asked members to furnish information on their extra marital affairs, many members were seen leaving the parliament quietly.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Amar Singh to represent India at the World Parliamentary Wrestling meet
India has decided to field its most aggressive and devil lookalike Amar Singh for the World Parliamentary Wrestling Federation bouts slated to start in Jan 2010.
The Parliamentary Wrestling Federation is an annual contest staring indisciplined parliamentarians from around the world.The annoited candidate wrestles with simmiliar parliamentarians sent by various governments and winner is declared as a scumbag and sent on a manned mission to Mars.
"Yes, after watching many videos of previous parliamentary sessions, we zeroed in on one guy who was thrashing every oponment and behaving as if someone had slipped in a a deadly cocktail of Red ants, jelly fish and black widow spider in his langot. The choice was unianimous and we have already booked tickets for him," parliamentary affairs minister Chavani Lal told this blogger over a game of chess on Monday.
The Parliamentary Wrestling Federation is an annual contest staring indisciplined parliamentarians from around the world.The annoited candidate wrestles with simmiliar parliamentarians sent by various governments and winner is declared as a scumbag and sent on a manned mission to Mars.
"Yes, after watching many videos of previous parliamentary sessions, we zeroed in on one guy who was thrashing every oponment and behaving as if someone had slipped in a a deadly cocktail of Red ants, jelly fish and black widow spider in his langot. The choice was unianimous and we have already booked tickets for him," parliamentary affairs minister Chavani Lal told this blogger over a game of chess on Monday.
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