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Rajdeep Sardesai slapped by Simi Garewal

Why the botox mummy got angry with India's leading journo

Humor Unplugged to file suit against ponytail

Why didn't you block our URLs?

Is Deepika Padukone cursed??

All her boyfriends are doomed says astrologer

Coal scam probe to cover allocations made since 3000 BC

CBI is serious about naming criminals looting the nation since Indus Valley Civilisation

Arnab Goswami tries to do a Manmohan Singh, gets mauled

Implementing reforms is a tough job for anyone

Saturday, April 12, 2014

PM Manmohan Singh wrote a page for The Accidental Prime Minister

Many of you dont know that PM Manmohan Singh had written a page for Sanjay Baru's The Accidental Prime Minister. The former PMO bottom dweller confessed this in a google talk chat with our correspondent. Baru even shared a snapshot of Manmohan Singh's contribution. This is how it looks...







Thursday, April 3, 2014

Indian Gas Marketing agency develops a time machine

A Bangalore based gas distribution company affiliated with Indian Oil Corporation subsidiary Indane has claimed that it has invented a time machine to deliver cylinders in the past. An announcement to this effect was made in the city by Indane's Chief Incompetence Officer Dayal Goli today.

Goli claimed that the machine built with commissions usurped by the agency via various black marketing and customer harassment initiatives by Shri Giridhar Agencies located on Residency Road can deliver cylinders to over 300 time zones in the past. "One can call us, pay a call charge of 3 crore rupees followed by commission charges of only 1.2 crores and we will deliver a cylinder to your ancestors. We will also return with a signed document to confirm delivery. We are the first agency in the world to do this and we are so excited that I was able to move an inch from my chair within 4 hours of entering my office yesterday," Goli said.

When told that it could be the other way round that booking made 30 years back were being delivered today, Goli got angry and gave a frown so horrendous looking that the power went of for nearly 4 hours. "What do you think this is, some kind of a joke? We have been harassing customers since eternity and have blackmarketeerd over a million cylinders to fund this project. Indane and Indian Oil Corporation are our partners in this drive. So chill," Goli added.

When we asked a guy from the gas agency he said "this is full insulting. Your society, country manners this?"

 
Indian Oil Corporation provided this screenshot
as proof for their Time Travel prowess




Monday, March 17, 2014

Arnab Goswami invests in tool that helps husbands predict when they will be thrashed

Yes, you heard it right. Times Now’s editor in chief Arnab Goswami has bought a significant stake in a Bangalore based start-up that has developed a tool that warns husbands about an imminent thrashing from their better halves. The development was confirmed by a source close to Goswami on Saturday.

The start-up Allucient Tech is already selling an astrology app on Google Play that uses big data, sentiment analysis and past trends to determine your future. “That app is based on a comprehensive review of over
900 parameters fed into it over a period of time. But WT 300 (the app that warns husbands) is a lighter version of the main app. WT 300 analyses recent data based on your BP levels and other parameters to determine whether you are lying and based on the strength of the lie, it determines the consequences. In addition, it also analyses big data obtained from sources like your credit card bill, your extra-curricular activities, your recent and past interactions with your wife and the frequency with which you are thrashed to figure out when you will be pulped next,” a developer associated with the aap told Humor Unplugged.

After learning about the utility of WT300, Arnab decided to invest money earned from selling his food coupons in the black market in this venture. “As a matter of policy, we do not disclose details on who invests in our start-up but I can tell you that a prominent news editor who was being thrashed every hour on the hour has indeed invested in our concern. We are glad to have him on board. In addition to giving us working capital, he has also given significant inputs to enhance WT300. He was the one who suggested that the app should have a feature that notifies nearby hospital if the bleeding (post-thrashing) exceeds 30 percent of the net blood content in the body,” an Allucient spokesperson said. 


Monday, March 10, 2014

Elections 2014: BJP to launch a no frills subsidiary

Taking a leaf out of the Indian aviation industry, 2014 elections front runner BJP has decided to launch a new party to take on the Aam Aadmi Party. The party, to be called Average Aadmi Party (AVAP), will be a wholly subsidiary of the party and will contest Aam Aadmi Party in tier-two and three towns across the country.

Sources in the BJP while confirming the move, pointed out that the new party will help BJP focus on its core constituency in urban areas.  “AVAP will be a completely different party and will have its own set of leaders, vote base and hierarchy. It will be a no-frills variant of BJP and tasked with gaining voteshare in areas where BJP is currently weak or does not have a presence. We haven’t decided on the first set of leaders to head the party yet but you can expect an announcement on that soon,” a senior BJP leader said.

AVAP, sources say, will be free to offer subsidies, indulge in agitations and high voltage drama across its constituencies. BJP it seems has been inspired by the plethora of no-frills carriers that have managed to corner a huge slice of the Indian aviation market in recent years.

“A new party will not come with any baggage and will be free to make course corrections on the fly while bringing in more aggression. AVAP will operate on a lower advertising and publicity budget and look at innovative ways to garner mindshare of the voter and fire up media imagination,” the senior leader added. 


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