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Showing posts from 2015

Pak PM Sharif raises Kashmir issue with a burger vendor, gets thrashed

Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif raised the Kashmir plebiscite issue with a hamburger vendor outside the United Nations Headquarter building in New York. The move follows the failure of an attempt made by the Pakistani UN delegation to raise the issue with UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon who said that he was sick and tired of Pakistanis humming the Kashmir tune for the zillionth time.

Ki-moon was apparently so angry that as soon as Sharif uttered the Kashmir word, he threw a vase at the Pakistani PM and asked him to leave the building. From Ki-moon's office to the cab Sharif took, he tried to raise Kashmir issue with everyone he met including the lift supervisor and the bell boy. Each of them asked Sharif to mind his own business.

Exasperated, Sharif finally caught hold of the hamburger guy outside the building and started talking about the need for self-determination for Kashmiris. The burger guy thrashed Sharif after stuffing a huge burger in his mouth. Sharif rolled over a…

Iridium found in Volkswagen exhaust: Maggi Lab

Uttar Pradesh Food Safety and Drug Administration (FSDA) lab alias Maggi labs which had tested the Maggi samples that were found to contain an unacceptable level of lead, has now said that it has found traces of 
Iridium in the exhaust of Volkswagen cars it tested. The tests were done by the lab out of curiosity and because the lab had run out of noodle brands to test. The test results will be placed in public domain this weekend after the government studies it, said L D Kumar, Head of Virtual and Invasive Testing at FSDA.

"This is indeed a rare instance of an element common among extra-terrestrial bodies being found in automobile exhaust. We have no idea as to how a rare element found its way into the automobile. It could have come from the fuel or the polymer lining the fuel tank. I am not going to speculate at this point especially since you are only a blog and not a newspaper, I will indulge in more speculation tonight on Newshour with Goswami," L D Kumar said.

As soon …

Power situation in Bangalore goes from grim to "whatever is worse than grim"

Bangalore, according to our correspondent, is so dark during night that the sale of telescopes has shot up 160 percent in the city in the last two days alone. This is not to mention the mushrooming of many astronomy clubs in the city. With little light, the night sky appears bright with many constellations visible to the naked sky like never before and astronomy buffs are lapping it all up.

How did all this happen, you ask and here is the story. Bangalore is the only metro in India that has to bear over 5 powerless hours every single day. The situation is so bad that a few days back, a few Bangalore citizens promised to be more civic minded, if they were given more electricity and less powercuts.

"I admit the power situation has gone from grim to whatever is worse than grim. But I assure you, the situation will improve soon as we are negotiating purchase of 8000 MW of power from North Korea. Once this power arrives, powercuts will be history and I will be able to watch various …

Indrani Mukherjea case: Aamir Khan to cry over the weekend

A source close to Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan has told Humor Unplugged that he may offer a reaction to the episode this weekend. It may be remembered that as soon as the case grabbed the headlines of prominent page 3 glossies like Times of India, journos more yellow than pakoras dipped in turmeric had thronged his residence on 7 Tear Avenue hoping the star would offer some
soundbites. The journos had to return disappointed as Aamir was away in Jodhpur crying over an incident of trespass over private property that happened a month ago.

The source, who doesn’t want his name to be exposed, said that Aamir will cry on Saturday as the star has entered a phase of depression. “He was crying this Wednesday and Thursday so he wanted to take a break over this weekend but saw an ad for a slipper and started wailing. But he became even more depressed as news came that Indrani had tried to bump of Sheena Bora’s brother too. He became really depressed and wanted to cry on Sunday itself but Ki…

Pakistan test fires nuclear capable kitty

Pakistan successfully test-fired a new "indigenously" developed cruise cat which is capable of delivering nuclear and conventional warheads up to 10 mts. Pakistan army said the cat named Ra’ad enables Pakistan to achieve “strategic standoff and run like cockroaches capability” on land and at sea, as it uses extremely complex “Cruise Technology” that is so complex that many Pakistani scientists have still not figured out how the whole thing works. The Pak Army officials said, “The state of the art Ra’ad kitty with stealth capabilities is a low altitude, terrain hugging cat with high maneuverability and can deliver nuclear and conventional warheads with pinprick accuracy. It is in fact so stealthy that once someone closes their eyes, they are unable to see the cat and it becomes invisible” Congratulating the scientists and engineers on achieving yet another milestone of historic significance, Lieutenant General Zubair Mahmood Hayat, Director General Strategic Plans Division t…

Kolkata wi-fi rollout problems sorted out: O Frian

Just hours after Times of India came out with an article highlighting concerns associated with the impending Wi-Fi rollout in Kolkata, The state government came out with a comprehensive plan of action to prevent bandwidth clogging.

The plan was outlined in an informal meet the press organised by Trinamool Congress spokesperson and Ra.One enthusiast Dereck O Frian today morning. "We are aware of media reports that have overplayed the clogging concerns associated with a Wi-fi roll out in Kolkata. I am here to clarify that such concerns are unfounded and based on a foundation that is as strong as the one Jinnah used to create Pakistan," O Frian said. 

Humor Unplugged got hold of the document he was waving and got to know the tactics lined up by Mamata government to resolve the issue. 

Here are some of the highlights of the plan
People found downloading more than 2 MB of data will be lathi charged and chased awayThose who download over 10 MB will be categorized as maoists and will d…

Obama and Modi agree to do a Bollywood duet

In what could be construed as a sign of increasing warmth in Indo-US ties US president Barack Obama and Indian PM Modi have agreed to do a duet in bollywood. The decision made public sometime tommorow evening, sources close to the Indian government told Humor Unplugged.

Coming on the heels of the agreement on liability as part of the civilian nuclear deal, experts on both sides agree that this duet will go a long way in cementing ties and taking Indo-US relationship to the next level.

"The Indian government is working to identify a suitable movie and song which will be on the lines of yeh dosti from Sholey to execute the agreement. I will share an update on this soon" a BJP source said.

The left parties meanwhile condemned the move terming it derogatory and "downright littoral in intellectual appeal".

Pakistan claimed that the duet will not adversely affect Pako-US ties. "Pakistans leadership has always danced to US tunes. We will upgrade this dance…