Deepika Padukone carries an ancient curse; astrologer warns boyfriends

Serial dater and alleged actress Deepika Padukone was an Egyptian princess in one of her earlier births and carries an evil curse or so said prominent astrologer and human pin cushion Bejunk Daruwalla.
The revelation was made by the astrologer at a thinly attended press meet in Mumbai on Sunday. Bejunk cautioned Padukone’s boyfriends stating that the association will bring them bad luck unless they perform a series of rituals and visit 78,979 temples over the next ten years.

Bejunk Daruwalla it may be recollected is a well known astrologer. He is also the official adviser to the Iranian government for its Monkeys rule space program.

“Her boyfriends will never be able to settle with her and they will always find bad luck coming their way as soon as the first article linking them with her is published. It is not their fault and Deepika Padukone is not to be blamed either. Deepika in one of her previous lives was the first wife of a promiscuous Egyptian king Pepi II who ruled Egypt around 2250 BC (when Simi Garewal was still in school). This ruthless dater had about 789 wives and countless affairs and caused much pain to his wife queen Nitocris who was Deepika in an earlier life,” said Bejunk.

“Thanks to a curse, all of Pepi II’s girlfriends have been reborn as Deepika’s Padukone’s boyfriends in this life. She is dating and dumping them to rake revenge for the pain they caused in her previous life. I have seen the list (of Pepi’s girlfriends) and it is very long so I don’t see her going easy on dating till she turns 70. My advice to her boyfriends is to visit a few thousand sacred places, wear over 700 pieces of jewelry and precious stones ala Bhappi Lahiri and feed arctic penguins once every ninety days to ward off the curse. If they don’t do this, they will end up as wannabes and be known as one of Deepika’s ex-boyfriends as they will never be able to carve out their own identity,” Bejunk added.

Humor Unplugged was unable to verify Bejunk’s claims independently. Deepika Padukone could not be reached for comment. A call to her private number was picked up by her father who threatened to bury us alive in a Bangalore pothole, if we tried to reach her again.   

Comments

I can't get over how amazing of a writer you are :) :) Trust me you make my day every time. And 'Bangalore potholes'- who could have thought of that! Haha. Kudos to you!!
:) thanks a ton Sunshine...your comments are like sunshine indeed...very inspiring and kind..its the best accolade that has come my way in a long time..:) thanks again and keep visiting...:)
Apple said…
How did you even this of...

"Thanks to a curse, all of Pepi II’s girlfriends have been reborn as Deepika’s Padukone’s boyfriends in this life. She is dating and dumping them to rake revenge for the pain they caused in her previous life"

Very funny!
:D Thanks appy..the story may not exactly be too far from the truth..in this instance ;)

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