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Showing posts from August, 2013

Man asks for 50,000 Facebook likes as dowry, gets pulped, arrested

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In a shockingly disgusting and vile development, a man from a town in UP was arrested by UP cops after he demanded 50000 Facebook likes from his fiancé’s family.

Chavvani Lal, a supervisor in a local manufacturing unit was engaged to Quynh-Anh Lam (name changed) and the two were supposed to marry each other in September. Everything was fine between the two till one day, Lal asked Lam for a few thousand likes as dowry. When Lam reminded Lal that giving and taking dowry was illegal, the he claimed that 'likes' were not a tangible entity and didn't have any monetary implication of any sort.

“I just want about 50000 likes for posts by me, my mom and dad. You have a big family and it’s just a question of setting up Facebook accounts for everyone, adding each other as friends and liking our posts. It is that simple. I am not asking for money or Kiwano Melon chips,” Lal said firmly. Before he could even finish, a lampshade flying at 30 kmph hit him and he fell. Lam had thrown th…

Few unknown facts about Rajdeep Sardesai

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As a kid Rajdeep once washed his hair with a Rin bar. He wanted to turn his hair white as snowHe spotted his first grey hair strand when he was in LKGHis favourite TV program during his childhood days was ‘Pappu ki news’ a current affairs based show for kids that used to air on DD. During his school days, his teachers would make him sit in the last bench facing the wall. This was because he had a tendency to stare at the teacher with zombie eyes, scaring the daylights out of his teachersRajdeep was a good batsman during his college days but he used to give running commentary on his batting while he was still at the crease. This used to irritate fielders To impress his college sweetheart, young Rajdeep used to hang around outside her hostel window and have a panel discussion each night to analyse the latest political developments – along with the hostel janitor and watchman  Whenever he and his wife go shopping, instead of bargaining with the shopkeeper, Rajdeep simply initiates a pane…

Chennai Express script files go missing

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In what could be termed as an unbelievable development, Shah Rukh Khan owned Red Chilies Entertainment has claimed that the files related to the script for the movie Chennai Express were no longer in its possession. The claim was made in response to a Hebus Scriptus filed in local court in Mumbai by a group that is considered close to alleged director Mahesh Bhatt.

“Red Chillies has informed the highly honorable and worship worthy court that the script for the movie was no longer available with our firm. The files are currently missing and we have instituted an inquiry to be conducted by a committee headed by a retired Bollywood critic to investigate the incident and recover the missing files. We have also purchased a few clean chits, just in case few people are found guilty,” a Red Chilies spokesperson said.

When told that the movie Chennai Express was made without a proper script, Shah Rukh Khan got angry and got into a fight with a watchman at the press club office in Lower Parel. …

Raj Thackeray showcases riot collection

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Maharashtra No Nirman Sena (MNS) chief Raj Thackeray today showcased his trademark riot tactics to a group of followers who had assembled outside his house as part of the MNS India Thrash Em Week. The demonstration lasted a few hours and included acts by MNS vandals who showed their ability to destroy public property and create and propagate nuisance.

The collection of acts was part of Raj Thackeray’s Spring-Winter Riot collection or so he claimed. “Everything bad that’s happening in Mumbai is due to the migrants. They have even infiltrated Bollywood and are making bogus movies like Chennai Express. The movie would have had turned out much better if it was called Mumbai Express. It is to prevent such things that my thugs, goons, bandicoots and hoodlums train for. MNS India Thrash Em Week gives my people a chance to feature their unique riot acts which can be emulated by others when a riot breaks out and give us enough destructive mileage,” said Raj Thackeray.

The event witnessed enth…

Pakistan tries to taunt India, fails

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Within hours of India successfully landing a C-130J "Super Hercules" tactical airlift aircraft at the rudimentary airstrip in Daulat Beg Oldi (DBO) on Tuesday morning, Pakistan tried to ape India, but failed miserably in the attempt.

As the news of the successful Indian landing spread, Pakistan Air Force got its act together and brought one of its frontline aircraft, a World War II vintage power glider to ‘flex its muscles’ by landing the craft on an unused airstrip near a forward base in Skardu in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir. The brief was simple – land the plane and showcase the might of Pakistan air force to its Indian counterpart and display strategic parity.

A senior Pakistan air force officer who tried to reason with his superiors by saying that C-130J was an aircraft in a different league and class altogether was posted out of the strategically significant Sargodha air base to a facility near Karachi. PAF was in no mood to entertain a conflicting opinion especially whe…

Scared Times Now asks viewers to stop watching the news channel

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Yes, Times Now has asked viewers not to tune in for a while. See the ad for yourself... 

Sri Lankan Navy to set up special Indian fishermen detention academy

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Sri Lankan Navy trained to do only one task – arrest Indian fishermen, has announced that it will set up a state-of-the-art training academy along its West coast. The new academy will impart training to Lankan Navymen on how spotting and arresting Indian fishermen from among terrorists and pirates, sources said.

The Lankan Navy it seems had apprehended a Al Qaeeda linked terrorists on couple of occasions mistaking them for Indian fishermen. As soon as it was discovered that the arrested men were hardcore Al Qaeeda terrorists infiltrating into Lanka and not Indian fishermen, the crew was released after a round of feasts. Lankan Navy intends to avoid such errors in the future through this academy.

“We had arrested many terrorists and pirates thinking they were Indian fishermen and that is positively embarrassing for us. Sri Lankan Navy is committed to and works for only one cause – arresting Indian fishermen. We are not concerned about anything else. Arresting innocent Al Qaeeda terr…

Egyptian museum claims Simi Garewal is a ‘runway mummy’

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Humor Unplugged in Cairo.
The Museum of Egyptian Antiquities has through the Egyptian government asked India to return what it calls a runaway mummy that escaped from its territory 1000 years ago. The mummy according to our sources in the museum belongs to the state of Egypt and Cairo is trying hard ensure its return to the country of its origin.

Museum Director, Mohamed Abdel Hamid Shimy in an exclusive interaction with Humor Unplugged said “I first saw thisaa mumiiii on an Indian TV channel. After seeing, I saida to myself I know thisaa face and that white clothes it had draped on itself. I instantly recognized it as the mumiiii of de queen Hatshepsut. I can recognize that mummiiii anywhere and I immediately wrote a letter to the then President Morsi to take this matter up with the Indian government(SIC)”. The mummy being referred to here is none other than Indian botox nanny Simi Garewal.

The most prominent female pharaoh, Hatshepsut reigned over Egypt for roughly two decades, und…

Start-up focused on online clean chits takes off

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A Bangalore based start-up that specialises in gathering clean chits online was launched yesterday. The company CC inc. claims to connect seekers of clean chits with those offering them within minutes after an event bearing negative ramifications occurs.
“We are offering multiple packages to all kinds of people. If a subscriber opts for a platinum pack, he or she is instantly connected to over 35 reputed clean chit sources who issue a clean chit within minutes on social and traditional media. With the Gold pack one has accesses to 10 sources who are not as reputed whereas with the Silver pack, you get 2 sources from the underworld. The idea is to connect seekers with those offering clean chits so that both can benefit from each other,” said P Puchappa, MD and CEO of CC Inc.
Puchappa said that his start-up was really excited by the business potential offered by clean chits. “If you look at any sphere of life be it politics, entertainment or sports, everyone is t alking about clean ch…