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Showing posts from April, 2013

Angry over Mulayam Singh’s statement, Pak summons Indian High Commissioner

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Pakistan today strongly objected to SP boss Mulayam Singh calling China, India’s number one enemy. In a strongly worded statement, Pakistan condemned the statement stating that Pakistan was India’s oldest and number one enemy and Mulayam Singh was wrong in moving that tag away from India’s schizophrenic neighbor.

Pakistan’s foreign ministry in a statement said it had summoned India’s high commissioner to Islamabad to lodge a strong protest on the "unacceptable and unprovoked statement by an Indian leader on the Indo-Pakistan relationship". "Pakistan reasserts that it is India’s number one enemy and will always be so irrespective of what anyone says. We have done enough and more to deserve the tag and continue to invest our national resources, time and energy in retaining this tag, a spokesperson for the ministry said”

Pakistan called on the Indian government to investigate the statement and restrain Indian leaders from making statements “that injure Pakistan’s pride”. …

Rahul Gandhi to spend few days in Chinese occupied Indian territory

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Continuing his spate of night outs in various places, Congress Vice-President Rahul Gandhi today decided to spend a few days and nights inside Indian territory currently under Chinese occupation. The moves comes in wake of Chinese troops intruding deep into Indian territory in Daulat a Bagh in Ladakh leading to a standoff between the armies of the two nations. The Indian government hopes that this move will put pressure on Chinese PLA to reverse the intrusion and respect the sanctity of the Line of Actual Control.

“Yes, Rahul Gandhi has decided to set up a camp inside our areas falling under illegal Chinese occupation. He will be crossing the Line of Actual Control and setting up a temporary camp there. In case the Chinese occupation forces challenge him, our honourable Rahul baba is ready with another engaging ‘power is poison’ speech to keep the forces at bay. If they still don’t give up, Rahul baba will give a three-hour speech on his vision for inclusive growth – so inclusive tha…

L K Advani to appear on MTV Roadies

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In what has been dubbed as a last ditch attempt to connect with the country’s youth and buttress his claim to be a well-accepted PM candidate, BJP’s Lal Krishna Advani will soon be appearing on a special edition of MTV’s reality show Roadies. He will be contesting against contestants who are in the same age-group as his great grandsons.

“This is not a reality show. No sir, its not. Instead it involves guys on bikes going around the nation. Advaniji was the pioneer of this concept as he had gone around the country during the early 90s on a self propelled vehicle. The show is based on the rath yathra theme; the only different being that instead of a humongous rath we have a small rath that can carry only two people. So essentially Advaniji is in his home turf,” Advani’s spokesperson said.

When reminded that Advani was around when the last ice age happened, the spokesperson shot back. “You know? Advaniji was the first blogger in the country. He used to tweet even before twitter became v…

Lennovo Yoga faces fatwa in Malaysia; UK church bans it

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Malaysia’s leading Islamic council has issued an edict prohibiting people from buying the screen flipping laptop tablet, fearing its reference to a Hindu classical system could corrupt them.

Malaysia’s National Fatwa Council yesterday issued an online fatwa banning the devices. “All pious followers should stay away from this device. Its name bears a clear reference to a Hindu form of exercise that we don’t like,” National Fatwa Council’s cave dwelling spokesperson said. When reminded that he was himself overweight and could do well with some exercise, the guy shot back and threatened to have a warranty-proof fatwa issued against our blog. “I might look like a beanbag but that doesn’t mean I need to do Yoga. I can always drink Slim tea or use the fat reduction cream to reduce my weight,” he said.  

Pakistan has already banned Lennovo Yoga. A bureaucrat in the ministry of IT there told Humor Unplugged that Lennovo has assured them that a halal version of the device minus its exciting …

101 year old Indian is the oldest bribe giver in the world

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An unnamed senior citizen from Bangalore became the oldest man in the world to give a bribe. The man who didn’t want to be named was asked by the local water supply board to pay a bribe to fix a leaking pipeline near his house.

“Plenty of treated drinking water was flowing away from the leak that had sprung up outside my house on the road.  After repeated calls to the Bangalore Water Supply and Sewerage Board, all I got was assurances from them. I waited for almost a month and then when things didn’t work out I walked in to their office and was told that I will have grease a few palms even though the pipe was located outside the premises of my house. I obliged because I didn’t want precious water to be wasted this way,” the senior citizen said.  

When told about the incident, Karnataka’s minister for water supply said “the money shouldn’t be considered as a bribe. It is merely a tip to ensure prompt service and we are glad that even 101 year olds in our state can afford to pay a brib…

Harvinder Singh didn’t slap me: Sharad Pawar

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Just a day after Sreeshanth hit out at fellow cricketer Harbhajan Singh and called him a backstabber, Union agriculture minister Sharad Pawar, today hit out at his ‘attacker’ Harvinder Singh, calling him a weird person. In an exclusive interview with Humor Unplugged, Pawar claimed that he was pained by media reports drawing parallel between Sreeshanth- Harbhajan slapgate and he being slapped by Harvinder Singh.

“First of all I would like to clarify that I was never slapped by Harvinder. To be where I am and do the things I have done, I have no complaints but, now I want all of you to know the truth. He (Harvinder) never slapped me and the video that shows me getting slapped is a morphed one. Harvinder only elbowed me and some pranksters belonging to the same lot that morphed a video to discredit actress Mona Singh also did the same to me. I am pained that people have used the video to judge me and the work I have done. Now people are even comparing it with the Sreeshanth- Harbhajan …

How Montek Singh Ahluwalia saved Mamata Banerjee

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A group of hooligans from left parties recently tried to attack West Bengal CM Mamata Banerjee. Had it not been for the presence of mind shown by Planning Commission’s Deputy Chairperson for life Montek Singh Ahluwalia presence of mind, the West Bengal CM would have been in deeper trouble. Not only did Ahluwalia save the day but he also managed to showcase his powers to disengage any audience.

Here is how things panned out at the ill fated meeting.    
A group of protesters from Left organisations, which waited for the Trinamool Congress Chief outside the Commission's office, raised slogans against her when she arrived with West Bengal finance minister Mitra at 3:45 PM to meet Ahluwalia.

Banerjee, who was advised by police not to get down from her car and drive inside, however, chose to walk through the slogan-shouting and placard-wielding crowd into the building.The 65-year-old Finance Minister was pushed and jostled around as he tried to enter the Yojna Bhawan building. A woman …