Arnab Goswami `creates ruckus at T3 of Indira Gandhi Airport

Times Now Editor in Chief Arnab Goswami created a minor ruckus at Terminal 3 of Indira Gandhi International Airport last week, according to eyewitness reports.

The drama began when Arnab wanted to use the lounge restroom before his flight to UK. Unfortunately for him, a part of the building was under repair and there was only one functioning restroom in the entire lounge and that was occupied by some guy. Being the gentleman that Arnab is, he waited for nearly half an hour, before his patience took a break.

Waving a few magazines outside the restroom door, Arnab said “Mr restroom occupier, the documents in possession of Times Now show beyond doubt that you have been occupying this room for over half an hour or even more. Isn’t this an issue of impropriety? Is probity in public life simply a pebble that can be conveniently thrown over a random target? Isn’t this an issue of private gain over greater public good? Isn’t this an issue of meaningless shenanigans essayed over hapless public by restroom bourgeois”? “This is an issue of constipation,” replied the man, who was inside the restroom.

Outside the T3 lounge restroom
Arnab left and returned with a couple of cops and went “this man, ladies and gentleman, this man whose face is hidden by the very door that protects his privacy and who is today challenging the fundamentals of fair restroom usage is loose on our streets. Are you safe? What if your stomach suddenly turns into the monsoon session of Lok Sabha? Where will you go"? He then dialled socialite Suhel Seth and conferenced opinion lizard Shobha De alongside poet Javed Akhtar.

Suhel Seth commenced the proceedings by saying “This strategically illiterate Johnny sitting and mulling over his retirement plans is damaging the T3 story. Upto him, he will erect a statue of himself on the commode and drape it with his trademark arrogance; just to relish the inconvenience perpetrated by him on us taxpaying citizens”.

Shobha De on the other hand blamed the Indian education system for producing such ‘monstrosities’. “The man inside that restroom, is a typical example of what is wrong with our education system. We don’t produce civic minded citizens anymore. We just have a bunch of yellow journalists posing as book writers who attend all page three parties and apply generous amounts of botox to hide their facial contours,” she said.    

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Javed Akhtar meanwhile composed a couplet on the spot and recited it.
Ye constipation hai ki hain naashaad sab; 
Main akelaa hii nahiin barabaad sab
Daavaa-e-constipation par hain kis ko Yakeen,
Ham pe jo guzarii hai ham ko yaad sab         

Meanwhile the restroom door opened and none other than CNN-IBN editor-in-chief Rajdeep Sardesai walked out. A shocked Arnab said “It was you all along”? “Yeap it was me. I was applying coral oil on my hair and didn’t realize I was sitting here for almost an hour. I am sorry,” Rajdeep said. The two then headed off to catch their respective flights.

Nearby in a corner chair, a lady suddenly pulls the newspaper down to reveal her face – it was the notorious Barkha 'tsunami' Dutt eavesdropping in on the conversation between the two senior journos.


indu chhibber said…
Aha!Killing so many birds with one stone?Is it spiritual?
:D yeap Indu..this is an all in one... the spiritual aspect comes in when you plough deep and understand the symbolism portrayed here. Basically, Arnab represents the fragility of human ego and it is he who gets whipped at the end of each story..the moral is detach the ego to attain the next level of spiritual enlightenment...

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