Intelligence Bureau strikes - apprehends crook stealing cheeku

July 16, 2011

Intelligence Bureau strikes - apprehends crook stealing cheeku

India’s premier IQ deficient anti-terror agency the ‘Intelligence’ Bureau has claimed that it has scored a major victory in its war on terrorism. IB Sleuths have successfully apprehended a petty thief stealing Sapodilla aka cheeku fruits from the prime minister’s residence 7, Race Course Road. It may be remembered that 'I'B has been accused of criminal negligence on innumerable occasions especially those involving national security.

Acting on a tip off received almost 3 months ago, the 'I'B sleuths started monitoring the premises of the PM more actively and even tapping his phones just for timepass. Apparently, the crook had been stealing cheeku from a garden in the PM's residence since the last few years.

“Today morning at 4 am when one of the two sleuths on a stakeout mission went to relieve himself on the 7RCR wall, he saw the crook sneaking into the compound. Two sutli (tiny) bombs were exploded to warn him and when he didn’t withdraw, the sleuths swooped in US Navy Seal style, using a old diesel generator to create the sound effect of a stealth combat helicopter and arrested him,” an IB spokesperson said. The sleuths posed for a 'mission accomplished' pic after the incident.

“This is indeed a major victory in our war against terror and terrorism. Today we have outscored the vicious ambitions of a handful of misguided souls,” a home ministry press release said. The crook, whose name has been withheld, has been remanded to judicial custody and put on a special tax payer funded diet including a choice of the best of continental and Indian cuisines. A special chef from a 5-star hotel has been flown in from Italy for and he has been kept in a high security location somewhere on the outskirts of Noida.