Showing posts from February, 2011

Syed Shah Geelani is a walking cactus fossil: report


Google offers new scam search for users in India

Leading search engine Google has started offering a 'interesting' new search option for its users in India. Google users here can now search for keywords within various scams that have plagued the nation in the past. Suppose one wants to search for results related to 2G scam and avoid generic results, one can key in 2G and then click the more tab on the top left hand corner and then select the 'Scams' option on the drop down menu.

Heres a screenshot of the Google search (India) landing page with the new feature

Voices from the nation....

The writing on the wall....

We will miss you Uncle Pai

This gentleman connected generations of Indians with stories that were Indian in every respect. Many of us have grown reading Tinkle, ACK, Panchatantra and many more conceptualized and reinvented by our very own desi story teller. Needless to say his death leaves a huge void in the hearts of every Indian comicbook lover. I just can't imagine those colorful storybooks without your smiling face flashing in one corner inviting us to contribute stories, share an anecdote or simply pen a mail.He was the one who made us fall in love with the funny antics of Shikari Shambu, the innocent adventures of Suppandi, the cunningness of Chamataka and countless other characters who made us laugh and learn at the same time.

He helped carve a niche for Indian stories and made them strong enough to take on competition from the likes of Western superheros. Unlike superman, spiderman etc, Uncle Pai's characters were true to life and it was never a problem to identify with them.

Humor Unplugged p…

CBI tired of raiding premises

India's premier investigating agency is tired of raiding the homes and premises of corrupt politicians and businessmen accused of swindling tax payers hard earned money. Humor Unplugged has learnt that CBI has told the government that its officers were spending more times in the homes of the corrupt and this was adversely affecting their personal lives and consequently some of the cases were suffering as sleuths were unable to give their best to CBI.

“A part of the story is the fact that our personnel haven’t been able to rest properly since 2009, when the agency was inundated by a barrage of corruption probes. Some of our people haven’t updated their facebook status in the last 6 months and to add to their woes, some of these corrupt people have started retaliating. Many have even brought deadly pets that are roaming their premises. This cannot go on forever and we need to something about it,” a senior CBI told Humor Unplugged.

Another CBI sleuth who didn’t want to be named said …

Now thats a headline we would like to see


Group vows to send A Raja to Sri Lanka

In a nation where the government has surrendered before corruption, it is now upto the common man to fight what has become the biggest curse on Indian democracy. A group of citizens has formed a club called the Deport A Raja to Sri Lanka (DARTS) club to dump India’s public enemy #1 A Raja in Sri Lanka. DARTS wants make an example out of the former union telecom minister so that future A Rajas will think twice before gulping down 1,55,000 crore.

“The Lankan armed forces have been missing LTTE a lot and so they have started using their weapons against Indian fishermen. We are not expecting the Indian government to do anything in this regard. If Lanka had done this to Israeli fishermen for instance, Lankan armed forces would have been frogfeed in 34 minutes flat. Anyway that’s not what we are here for. We want to abduct A Raja, take him to Chennai, disguise him as a fisherman and leave him adrift in Lankan waters. Let the Lankan navy or whatever they have there detain him and keep him a…

7 khoon maaf…

A RajaB S Yeddyurappa Ajmal KasabSuresh Kalmadi Sharad PawarMadhuri GuptaMolester DGP Rathore
Will someone do the honors, please? 

S M Krishna’s pet is safe

Bangalore police officials have confirmed that the external affairs minister S M Krishna’s pet mongrel Peeku is safe and sound. It may be remembered that Peeku had gone missing on Monday and Krishna’s family had filed a missing pet complaint in a local police station in this regard.

“The dog is safe. He had just wandered away to escape all the unwanted attention and humiliation heaped on him by other dogs, thanks to what his master did at the UN Security Council. It seems that the dog was adversely affected by the episode and wanted to get away from it all. But don’t worry he is doing pretty well and will be going out for his VIP walks soon,” a senior cop told Humor Unplugged.

Krishna’s family had initially claimed that the mongrel was kidnapped by some groups angry with the external affairs minister's gaffe at UNSC.  The family was added reasons to worry as Peeku had inadvertently seen Amar Singh strip in front of media a few days back. "We were worried that the disturbing v…

India & Portugal to sign a speech exchange treaty

In a bid to enhance ties with India, Portugal has requested India to sign a speech exchange treaty with it. According to sources in the nation’s embassy in New Delhi the treaty will facilitate exchange of speeches at major international forums and boost ties between the two nations.  

“It’s a great idea. It’s a wonderful concept and I believe every nation should do something similar. It’s a great way of connecting with each other. I mean imagine you reading a script that I have prepared. It’s a very novel concept. India and my country will be signing this treaty soon and in the future we will be exchanging speeches at various forums,” a Portuguese embassy official said.

Krishna’s wig not compromised  
After the speech gaffe, external affairs minister Krishna has clarified that his wig was never swapped with anyone. The clarification came in the wake of opposition alleging that Krishna had ‘inadvertently’ picked up a wig belonging to an undisclosed head of a South-East Asian nation. “Th…

Hosni Mubarak down and out...

The nightmare is over in Egypt. The despot has been given a firm kick by the people of Egypt. We travel down the memory lane and bring out some moments from the life and times of the 'anti-social' dictator...

Pakistan ready with another terror strike, offers to resume dialogue

Sarcasm aside, world’s most terror friendly nation Pakistan, has agreed to resume unconditional dialogue with India. The news is that governments of India and Pakistan on Thursday agreed to resume talks stalled after the cowardly 26-11 attack by Pakistani terrorists.

Pakistan agreed to resume talks with India after two of the most active terrorist organizations operating from its soil confirmed that they were ready to carry out more terror strikes against India over the next few months. Jammat-ul-Dawa and Lashkar-e-Toieba have asked the Pakistani government to keep the Indian government occupied with talks while they carry out their heinous agenda in the sub-continent.

“Yes, I have confirmed our preparedness to launch another cowardly attack on Indian citizens. I have also asked the Pakistani government to keep the Indian government distracted just like 1999, 2000,2001, 2008 etc so that we can send our flunkies who will give Indians another date to remember,” Mullah Gomar, Chief Terro…

Somali pirates ink MoU with Indian politicians

Humor Unplugged has learnt that the Somali Pirates Association(SPA), an umbrella body of pirates operating in Indian Ocean has inked a MoU with Indian politicians. As part of the MoU, both parties will work closely and facilitate transfer of knowledge in areas such organized and unorganized crime, money laundering, cheating, swindling and multi level fraud.

The MoU was signed on behalf of Indian politicians by 2-G goon A Raja, Commonwealth Goon Suresh Kalmadi and black magic man Yeddyurappa on Monday in New Delhi. The three expressed satisfaction over the agreement and raised a toast to the growing relationship between Somali goons and their Indian counterparts sitting inside Indian parliament and legislative assemblies throughout the nation.  

“They have a lot to learn from us. One needn’t roam the high seas hoisting a Jolly Roger and run into trouble with the navies of so many nations. You just need to learn how you can milk the system from within and siphon millions to Lichtenstei…

Barkha Dutt angry with Hosni Mubarak supporters

Live and direct from Cairo: NDTV journalist and all round news aunty Barkha Dutt has lodged a strong protest with the Egyptian government over the latter’s decision not to arrest or threaten her. Bharkha, who is reporting on the crisis in Egypt from Cairo, was among the few journalists left unharmed by President Hosni Mubarak supporters, policemen and army soldiers.

It may be recalled that journos from CNN, ABC, Times Now and CNN IBN were arrested or detained by folks from the Egyptian government. This made Barkha see red as she was expecting an arrest and/or detention to score some brownie points among her fraternity back home. Barkha’s stock in India has been on a freefall since the last three years following among others an incident where she got a tiny small time blogger to shutdown his blog over some uncharitable comments he had made on the self proclaimed queen of Indian newsdom.

Barkha wanted to use the episode to her advantage to put her so called popularity back on track. But…

How Yeddyurappa can hold on to his chair

Many ‘Black magic’ experts have suggested various remedies for the embattled Karnataka CM to hold on to power. Not to be outdone, our local black magic experts here at Humor Unplugged have also come up with recommendations that will help Yeddyurappa ward off the evil eye and keep his detractors at bay. Here are a few of them…

* On every Monday, wear a pink salwar kameez and a pink bandana with a grey Bermuda
* Run for an hour around the Vidhan Soudha wearing bunny slippers, everyday.  
* On the second Saturday of February, visit a pub and pick up a fight with a bouncer
* Dye your eyebrows with fluorescent dye
* Keep a Himesh Reshamiya poster on the north side of residence to scare evil away
* Transfer one chai-sipping babu every third week
* Make it mandatory for all babus to don a Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean) look on Fridays  
* Ask one of the Reddy brothers to do a Yeddyurappa  Namaskar before you every Saturday
* Change your name to Yeddy Baby on Facebook
* Hold a special…