India to open world’s first ‘C’ school

After the emergence of a series of non-stop scams, the Indian government has decided to finally act. At a hurriedly convened meeting in the national capital yesterday, an empowered Group of Ministers approved a proposal to establish an institution dedicated to prepare corrupt professionals of the future.

The Indian Institute of Corruption (IIC) to come up in the 4 metros will be an institute of excellence and groom future Kalmadis, Rajas and Yedurappas. According to sources who were present at the meeting, the institute will start functioning by 2012 and will admit students who have a proven track record in the field of corruption and have excelled in garnering bribes, kickbacks and illegal favors at the expense of public trust and money. These institutes will also conduct a national exam called the Corrupt Admission Test (CAT) to ‘weed out honest students’.    

In addition to CAT, candidates can also give a Goony Mismanagement Aptitude Test (GMAT) to get into IIC. Corrupt babus, incompetent and crooked ministers will be given a clear preference in the admission process and have a separate quota reserved for them. “I never had a chance to hone my corruption skills in a classroom. I believe this school will make it easier for corrupt individuals to rake in the moolah without being caught by snooping BLEEP media guys,” A Raja said.  “I hope they will have a course on how to escape once you are caught. I mean they should also show how to subvert the judicial process of the country and evade arrest” said Kalmadi. Karnataka CM Yedurappa was unavailable for comment as he was busy transferring money to multiple accounts in Cayman islands.

“We are tired of these amateurs indulging in corruption and being caught. This institute will prevent such incidents and ensure that the corrupt thrive without being caught,” a government source said.

A rally against the most corrupt goons in the world in London

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