Pre-historic Kalmadi nearly stymied pyramid construction eons ago

Noted Egyptologist Dr Hammerschmidst has claimed that a pre-historic equivalent of the Commonwealth Organizing Committee chief Suresh Kalmadi had managed to stall the construction of pyramids in 2750 BC. This startling claim was made in a book written by him called ‘Dummy mummies’ launched at a well-attended function in New York last week.

The book lists out a series of incidents that happened when the Egyptians were constructing the first set of pyramids. Amranakhalmadee, the corrupt Senior Supervisor of the pyramid project spent money by the donkey loads and missed many deadlines before his luck finally ran out. “The domestic media of those days, represented by heavy limestone tablets came down heavily on Amranakhalmadee following which he lost the blessings of the royal family, soon enough. That is before he met with a gory end,” Hammerschmidst said.

According to Hammerschmidst, Amranakhalmadee swindled money, cut corners by using sub standard construction material and extended projects indefinitely to mint more money. In the end, a publication published on red algae from an area now in Saudi Arabia took up the issue, causing much embarrassment to the Egyptian royal family. The domestic media took the cue and launched a relentless campaign for removing Amranakhalmadee.  

Amranakhalmadee was then summoned by the family and banished to one of the pyramids under construction at that point of time He was supposed to spend the rest of his life there in solitary confinement as a punishment for his crimes. But fate had other plans, as Amranakhalmadee died the very next day, when the ceiling of the poorly constructed pyramid collapsed on him, while he was shaving. Spin doctors of the royal family then took over and ensured that all references to the Egyptian pre-historic Kalmadi were removed. "This should serve as a warning to all the Kalmadis out there who are out to make a fast buck by trading national pride for millions. Such guys will meet the same fate as Amranakhalmadee and there are no two ways about it", Hammerschmidst said.

Egyptian government has banned the sale of the book and is considering legal action against Hammerschmidst for making 'unsubstantiated claims' in his book. "Comparing the supervisors of ancient Egypt with Kalmadi is downright disgraceful, depressing, demeaning and mortifying and I am stopping here since I have run out of synonyms. There was no such character in our country at any point of time in history and the story that we have heard in the press and in blogs about Amranakhalmadee is a figment of the author's 2 KB imagination. His story is as real as Pakistan's commitment to the war on terror," a senior Egyptian diplomat in New Delhi told Humor Unplugged over a Skype chat.


The dilapidated pyramid where Amranakhalmadee shaved his last  


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