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Showing posts from 2010

Happy new year 2011 :)

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The great Indian muddle class venn dia

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Ricky Ponting gets a rare honor

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Australian skipper and cricket’s own John McEnroe Ricky Ponting has received a rare honor from the National Spider Research Institute of Australia (NSRA). A newly discovered species of spider has been named after him by the institute.
In a press release issued late Tuesday evening, the institute said “this species of spider is a really angry one and is known to spit, make a hissing sound and start acting weird when it gets angry and the insect does get angry quite frequently and this is one of the reasons why NSRA has named it after Ricky Ponting”. Imaginative sources have also told your favor blog that the spider has been known to push and nudge other senior spiders in the vicinity and shows scant respect to anyone and everyone. “This one is a real troublemaker. The other day when we found it, the critter spit on our camera and kept on spiting and hissing till we tranquilized the guy”.   
Acanthogonatus ricki or the cussing spider will go on display during the first half of next month …

ICC match fixing dream XI

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On Friday evening, the International Cricket Council released a list of the greatest match fixers to have brought disgrace to the game. The list , christened 'ICC match mixing dream XI', includes the who's who of the match fixing world with Pakistan bagging the maximum slots.

Heres the match fixing dream team:

Saleem Malik (Capt)Mohammed Azharuddin (VC)Ajay SharmaHansie CronjeHerschelle GibbsKamran Akmal (WK)Mohammad AmirMarlon SamuelsMohammad AsifSalman ButtAta-ur-RehmanMaurice Odumbe (12th man)The selected members will be felicitated at a event organized by the ICC in London.

Suresh Kalmadi welcomes CBI officials

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CBI officials who carried out a raid on CWG Goon Suresh Kalmadi’s house early morning today were in for a nasty surprise. As and when the team raided his residence, the commonwealth joker was at the gates to receive them. He had even laid out a lavish breakfast spread for the raiding team.

Sources at Kalmadi’s New Delhi residence told Humor Unplugged that not only did Kalmadi know about the raid, but he also knew about the food preferences of each member of the team. “As and when the team arrived Kalmadi took them around and showed them places where he had hidden incriminating documents and money (nothing was there now) in the past including the false bottom in one of the wells. Throughout the raid he was in good spirits and even joked saying he was expecting the team in September this year,” a source said. Kalmadi asked the team to visit as often as they can and even invited them to his Pune New Year bash, the source added.

The CBI team returned empty handed to its office.      







Images for the week gone by winter sets in...firmly

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North Pole angry over Santa Claus incident, threatens to review relations with US

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After initial reports of Santa’s pat down incident started trickling in, the North Pole maintained a studied silence, awaiting a confirmation from its embassy in Washington. However, on Friday, as and when the confirmation came, North Pole’s diplomats launched a no holds barred diplomatic offensive against the US, asking all nations to condemn the ‘unwarranted incident’ and force US to tone down its entry procedure for diplomats.

It may be recalled that US had recently detained Santa at one of its airports. He was only released after a complete and through check and a 'aggressive pat down'.

“Incidents of this nature are bad, unwise and unbecoming of a democracy and a nation that claims to champion the cause of the free world. Santa is not just any other individual but an ambassador of goodwill and we are completely and justly angry with the incident,” North Pole’s permanent representative in the US told Humor Unplugged. He also said that his government was in the process of ou…

New Taliban recruitment ad

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Send in your CVs to talent@taliban.pk.gov

India's corruptmess tree

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India's corruptmess tree


Images for the week gone by - Pandas to Liu Xiaobo

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Pak to make it mandatory for terror agencies to list on the bourses

Continuing its ‘war on terror’, world’s most terror friendly nation – Pakistan today announced that it will be putting in place many measures to bring in more transparency in the functioning of terrorist organizations operating from its soil. A Pakistani interior ministry official told India’s favorite blog Humor Unplugged that a bill be brought in the next session in Pak parliament to this effect.

The following will be the highlights of the new bill tentatively titled “Pakistan Regulation of Terror and Terrorist Activities” (Parrot) Act.

* All terror agencies to be listed on the Karachi Stock Exchange.  
* All such agencies that indulge in, or promote or are part of a terror activity directed against other countries must necessarily be subject to inspection by Pakistani army or an agency appointed by the ISI in consultation with the Pakistani army
* All such agencies that have been trained by the Pakistani army or the ISI will have to seek approval from Pak army or the ISI or any age…

How cold was yesterday??

It was so cold that…

• There were no reports of wardrobe malfunction from Bollywood
• Antilia’s electricity bill for December is expected to equal Pakistan’s GDP
• A film crew from Siberia came down to Bangalore to shoot a movie scene
• Amar Singh called up Jayapradha
• Barkha Dutt called up Niira Radia to get ‘some’ information on the weather in New Delhi
• Opposition wanted the government to constitute a joint parliamentary committee to probe the sudden drop in temperature
• CBI has filed a charge sheet against unknown persons alleging gross impropriety and misuse of unknown powers in an unknown context
• R K Pachauri has co-authored a article that says that the Ganges will freeze by 2060
• Chinese intrusions across LAC have fallen by 8 percent over the last two days
• Arnab Goswami was seen poking a immersion rod at the audience on his show
• Salman Khan was seen sporting a tux
• Pamela Anderson has been nominated to the Indian parliament as a wild card entry
• A bill has been move…

Junk journalism Times of India style

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This is exactly what junk journalism is all about. Times of India talks of a 'muslim' General defending the Line of Control. So whats wrong here? For one, the religion of the general mentioned here has nothing to do with his duties. He has been entrusted this key role not because he is a muslim, but because he has earned it. Rookie journalists who are now at the helm in petty newspapers like Times of India would like us to believe that something amazing has happened. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Humor Unplugged condemns such reportage and urges Times of India to rise above mundane and clichéd junk to report news with responsibility and if you cant, move over...

Indian Idle 2010

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There are Indians like Dr Kalam who inspire fellow citizens to pursue success with a 'never say die' attitude and bring glory to ones motherland. This post unfortunately does not belong to them - this instead belongs to people who have shamed the country and brought ignominy to their family. These are people who should have never taken birth in our country...but now that it is too late we can just hope and pray that such disasters disappear from public life and fade from public memory. 
Indian Idle, is a contest to determine the nation’s most-hated and loathed people. In its third year, the contest brings together the nation’s most-hated and loathed people on one platform. The winner gets a one-way deportation ticket to Timbuktu and his Indian passport is revoked in a public ceremony. 



The competition is indeed tough this year and only vote will determine who gets the one way ticket to Timbuktu. Here are the nominees for this year's contest. 
Suresh KalmadiA Raja Molesters In…

India's new chief 'vigilance' commissioner

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Say woof to our new Chief Vigilance Commissioner, a no nonsense guy who promises to have corrupt politicians for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  

Whatever you do, dont mess with this guy.

Wardrobe malfunction issue rocks Lok Sabha, proceedings stalled

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Our busy, highly competent and intellectually well endowed parliamentarians came up with another issue of national interest for discussion in the Lok Sabha today. Proceedings in the ‘lower’ house of parliament were stalled, thanks to opposition members raking up the issue of a B-grade bollywood actress’ wardrobe malfunction that happened a few days ago. The issue caught the attention of our law makers who used it to put more pressure on the UPA government.

Raising the issue during ‘zero’ hour, national moral guardian Chavvani Lal said “this is a matter of shame and disgust for us. The so called actress has torn the moral fiber of the nation with this unpardonable act and it is now upto the government to act to curb and discourage such unethical behavior”. Opposition MPs demanded a Joint Parliamentary Committee (JPC) Probe into the issue, while the ruling Congress urged members to ‘chill’ and suggested a ‘Supreme Court guided’ probe.

“The actress in question is not exactly a star or s…

Postcards from Pakistan

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If Pakistan was made to undergo a TSA full body scan at a US airport

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This will be the result

Indian government installs automated reminder machine (ARM)

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A bunch of lazy mandarins in the Indian government have come up with a novel way of reminding Pakistan about the need to act against perpetrators of various terror attacks directed against India emanating from Pakistani soil. These fancy bureaucrats have installed an Automated Reminder Machine (ARM) on the Home ministry campus to issue periodic reminders to the Pakistan embassy in New Delhi and to the Pakistani foreign ministry in Islamabad on the need to 'act'.

The machine, developed after much R&D, went online on Friday on the second anniversary of the 26-11 attacks. ARM was inaugurated by union home minister P Chidambaram by pressing a button which released a reminder that went straight to its intended recipients and delivered an ‘ignored’ receipt from the Pak side. “Once again we call upon Pakistan to dismantle the terror machine operating with impunity in territories under its control and bring the perpetrators of the Mumbai attack to speedy justice,” the reminder sai…

Top statements made by the Indian government after 26-11

The only thing Indian government has done in the last two years is to parrot lines crafted by some fossil babus. The shameful part is that some of these statements have been repeated so often that they have become embedded in the minds of every minister or babu who has to deal with Pakistan and its wicked intentions…

Our patience is wearing thinPakistan needs to do more to curb terrorism emanating from its soil Bring 26/11 perpetrators to justiceTime-bound fulfilment of Pakistan's stated commitments is essential Substantive and verifiable progress is needed We salute the courage, unity and the resolve of ordinary MumbaikarsConsequences in case of future terrorist attacks will be severe for Pakistan Hand over 'voice samples' of Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT) terrorists Security intensified in MumbaiPakistan should look at India’s demand favorably Pakistan should dismantle terror camps existing on its soil We have handed over another dossier on 26-11 to Pakistan 
God, please dispatch …

India to open world’s first ‘C’ school

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After the emergence of a series of non-stop scams, the Indian government has decided to finally act. At a hurriedly convened meeting in the national capital yesterday, an empowered Group of Ministers approved a proposal to establish an institution dedicated to prepare corrupt professionals of the future.

The Indian Institute of Corruption (IIC) to come up in the 4 metros will be an institute of excellence and groom future Kalmadis, Rajas and Yedurappas. According to sources who were present at the meeting, the institute will start functioning by 2012 and will admit students who have a proven track record in the field of corruption and have excelled in garnering bribes, kickbacks and illegal favors at the expense of public trust and money. These institutes will also conduct a national exam called the Corrupt Admission Test (CAT) to ‘weed out honest students’.    

In addition to CAT, candidates can also give a Goony Mismanagement Aptitude Test (GMAT) to get into IIC. Corrupt babus, inc…

Images for the week gone by - chatting with nature

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