Showing posts from December, 2009

Osho made me do it: N D Tiwari

Playboy Governor N D Tiwari in conversation with our correspondent Rajcreep. 

RS: Aren’t you ashamed of your behavior? You were caught pajama down with three women that too in Raj Bhavan..
ND: I am; in fact I used to date almost 5 ladies simultaneously and three is far below my benchmark and the number that I am used to.

RS: As a governor, you were expected to be clean in your personal and public life. You shouldn’t have mixed constitution with pleasure and how could you forget your responsibilities as a governor?
ND: I didn’t. In fact I was clearing a few files and reading a few policy documents while I was with the ladies.  I have been multitasking since my college days when we used to do group study and I was with,..

RS: Thanks, we can guess the rest. The state of Andhra is facing tough times and how could you indulge yourself under such circumstances? 
ND: I was pained and constantly seeking ways to distract myself so that I wouldn’t be biased or prejudiced when it came to taking decisi…

Massive hunt on to recover N D Tiwari’s pajamas

The Andhra Pradesh government has launched a statewide hunt to recover the pajama of former state governor and senile playboy N D Tiwari, according to Pajama Trust of India (PTI). The pajama is said to hold vital clues to uncovering the truth behind the now famous incident involving the former governor, who was caught with his pajamas down on television. Teams from state CID and a special investigation team have spread out to various parts of AP to search and locate the most vital piece of evidence in the N D Tiwari investigation.

“The pajamas mysteriously vanished from governor’s wardrobe after they were seen lying in one corner in the infamous video. These are imported pokimon pajamas which are not very common in the state and we believe that a proper forensic test will reveal what happened in Raj Bhavan on that fateful day,” an AP government spokesperson said. 

The state government has already alerted the CBI and all airports, national and state highways, seaports and border check p…

Indian Idle 2009

There are Indians like Ratan Tata, Dr Kalam and others who inspire fellow citizens to pursue success with a 'never say die' attitude and bring glory to ones motherland. This post unfortunately does not belong to them - this instead belongs to people who have shamed the country and brought ignominy to their family. These are people who should have never taken birth in our country...but now that it is too late we can just hope and pray that such disasters disappear from public life and fade from public memory. 

Indian Idle, is a contest to determine the nation’s most-hated and loathed people. In its third year, the contest brings together the nation’s most-hated and loathed people on one platform. The winner gets a one-way deportation ticket to Timbuktu and his Indian passport is revoked in a public ceremony. 

Here are the nominees for this year's contest..
Ramlingaraju aka fraud Raju: The man who single handedly ashamed the Indian IT industry and almost shut down one of the co…

Funny images from the week gone by...

Dalai Lama makes a fashion statement

Obama trying to impress someone with his bogus skills

A loaded Christmas tree 

Kitty sends out greetings

Mrs. Obama trying to negotiate a agreement with an earthworm...

The anti-Tiger kit for ladies who seek to prevent their hubbies from straying

A delegation of Amazon folks out to meet Tiger woods..

Funny images for the week gone by

Look who wants an Oscar...

Pakistani politicians testing the furniture to be used in the national assembly...

 "This steel wool as wig thingi is not working"

 Himesh at one of his concerts

 Naresh Goyal's house

Guys, this is winter...should cut down on water. Else,...

 This lion did a Mika on a hapless visitor to the zoo...the authorities have blocked all Hindi news channels available in the zoo after the incident

How to deal with those who want a separate state?


* Ask them to create a community on facebook. They will get a separate state as and when the community membership touches 12,635,00,000
* While they are at it, let them also write a thesis on the privacy policies of facebook
* Those who are fasting should be allowed to do so…provided they do it on the sets of one of those cookery shows (while the show is being shot)
* All negotiations with such parties should be conducted in hotels where they serve great food.  No negotiator should have more than 10 mts distance between him\her and food at all times
* Media should not be allowed anywhere near such people
* Such people should not be allowed to tweet or update their statuses on social networks
* Force them to watch Avatar on PC (the pirated DVD must be out by now)
* Install Windows Vista in their laptops/pcs 
* Force them to go on a date with Gurinder Chadda (without makeup)
* If they want a state, then they should be ready to allow Raj Thackrey, Imam Bukhari, Mayawathi and …

Message to Tiger Woods


Tiger’s pet seeks separation

Tiger’s pet dog Yogi has moved an Orlando family court seeking separation from his once favorite master and idol. The pet dog, in a petition has stated that “he was in deep duress” and asked the court to relieve him from his association with the Woods family as soon as possible.

“My client is deeply disturbed and pained by the recent turn of events and has decided that moving on was the best option available under the given circumstances. His thoughts are with the Woods family and he is confident that his master will soon be back to his smashing best on course and be known for his golfing skills rather than his off field conquests,” Yogi’s lawyer told the media at a casual briefing on Friday.

The court has admitted the petition and asked both parties to come forward for a hearing on Dec 23. Ruling out any scope for reconciliation, Yogi’s lawyer said “Yogi’s fundamental trust in his master’s abilities to separate virtue from vice has been breached. As things stand, my client does not wa…

Images from the week gone by

Now some cats also want their own state...kittyland

A US FEMA employee is shocked to see his girl friend's name in the list of ladies associated with Tiger Woods

Reaction from the animal kingdom to Tiger's adventures...monkeys are glued in to CNN to get the latest dope on the Worlds #1 Golfer and his off field conquests

Maywathi's supporters at a rally demanding reservations for certain categories in beauty pageants like Miss Universe and Miss World

Image of the week..

Aamir Khan may be inducted into Inteligence Bureau

Sources, as close to the government as Tiger Woods’ wife is to the top golfer now, have told this blogger that the Intelligence Bureau has asked the government to allow the agency to recruit actor Aamir Khan as an agent for running its covert operations in India. The request was made recently through a file uploaded on the NIC server in Delhi.

The top brass of IB were apparently impressed by Aamir’s recent stunt involving a disguised trip around the country to promote his latest movie 3 idiots. The so called perfectionist actor was so impressive with his disguise that he could fool many a movie buff who couldn’t recognize the twice married actor inside the weirdo getup. Aamir has also been invited by some IB officials for a presentation at the agency’s headquarters on Friday and has received an invite from IB for joining their community on Facebook. Sources close to the actor have confirmed both invites, but refused to confirm if the actor has accepted them or he will wait till the m…

Pichley janam key sach ka samna...

NDTV has decided to start a new series that will blend the concepts of two serials based on hypnotic regression and lie detection. According to sources close to the company, the new serial will go on air as early as middle of next month and will strech the concept of these two serials further to harass a hapless audience further.

The new serial tentatively titled "Pichley Janam key Sach ka Samna (PJKSKS) will include subjects who have undergone hypnotic regression on its serial "Raaz Pichley Janam ka (RPJK)". In PJKSKS, these subjects will be subject to a lie detector test during hypnotic regression to asertain if he or she is telling the truth or simply chucking bundles at a IQ deficient audience.

NDTV grandpa Pranoy Roy has been personally pushing the concept of PJKSKS. "We have seen that many of our subjects are simply lieing. There was a guy who claimed that he was King George II in his previous life...while our subsequent investigations revealed that he was a…

What can Tiger Woods do now?

Dr. Hammerschmidst, noted strayologist and fling expert on what the disgraced golfer can do from here on

* Star in a reality show to keep the moolah coming
* Write his autobiography and let the book hit the stands within the next two weeks, before the world forgets him
* Tie up with Shiny Ahuja for a book on straying from marriage
* Change his name to more a numerologically acceptable “Tiger in the woods”
* Start a PGA (Professional Goons Association) for hubbies who have strayed and have fallen from the high pedestal of public admiration
* Check if there are ladies out there who still want to date him – the current figure of his flings stands at 11 (according to US Fed reserve); he should try and round it off to a more memorable 20
* Check with Pranoy Roy and see if he can appear on that rebirth serial that is playing on NDTV Imagine…Tiger can simply blame his previous life for his current woes
* Or he can invent a new medical syndrome to explain his adventures
* Blame recession …

Funny pics for the week gone by...

Punishment for eve teasing...

Some of you will be marrying one of these in the next 50 years

This lady led a popular protest at prizes for guessing why

The new missile

Are these guys serious? Leaders and wake up???

The Chinese dont spare kids...

They dont spare robots either

This is gotta be the picture of the week

Pak to reduce terror licenses

In a move designed to reduce resource stress and regulate the booming terror industry in the country, the Pakistani government has decided to reduce the number of terror licenses issued by it to terror groups operating within its territory. It may be remembered that the Pakistani terror regulator Terror Regulatory Authority of Pakistan (TRAP) had in the past issued licenses to terrorist groups to support and regulate the terrorism industry. TRAP, established as a independent body under the Pakistani Defense ministry, has been working overtime in the last few months to balance budgetary constrains, international pressure and internal conflicts to ensure equitable distribution of state resources to terror groups.

"We are facing the same situation that the Telecom Regulatory Authority in India is facing - too many players and few resources. In addition to our home grown terror groups like Lashkar and Jaish, we have foreign groups also who are operating from here. Our licensing policy…

The new book in town...

If you want to have a separate state or want to hold the government hostage to meet your silly this one...

Now Bollywood wants a separate state

According to reports coming in from agency sources, Bollywood has become the latest entity to ask for a separate state. Union Home Minister Chidambaram has confirmed to this blogger (over a facebook wall post) that he has indeed received a memorandum from the a team from bollywood stating this demand.

“Considering the amount of drama we create, it becomes essential for us to have a separate state. Besides we are contributing plenty of tax money to government coffers and have our own share of controversies and lows. If you look at all this, we do have a strong case in this context,” bloated director Mahesh Bhatt said. He was in fact the only bollywood guy idle enough to offer his take on the whole issue.

Mahesh Bhatt has been asked to identify a set of actors for staging an indefinite fast to pressurize the Indian government on the issue. “I have already been inundated by applications from so many actors on this. Many are viewing the indefinite fast as an opportunity to shed those ex…

Images from the week gone by...focus on Tiger Woods

"Dont you dare act like Tiger Woods" Steffi to her hubby

Did someone say Tiger Woods is here? Woods girlfriends get ready to meet him.

Tiger Wood's Mongolian girlfriend after burning a house belonging to one of her rivals

How women manage Tiger type hubbies in Iraq

Another one of Tiger's ladies after thrashing a rival...

Pakistani version of matrix being shot in Lahore

Friendship is like this...I guess :)

Saif Ali Khan's autobiography is out..

Meanwhile, noted actor and dude with a string of affairs Saif Ali Khan released his autobiography at a thinly attended press conference in Mumbai on Monday. The book titled “I am here to stray” chronicles his famous escapades during his blissful married life. Sources say that the actor has taken a leaf out of the recent Tiger Woods affair to come out with his own version of flings during his two decade long innings in the Indian film industry.

The ceremony was attended by prominent strays such as Aamir Khan, Rahul Mahajan and others. Aamir hailed the book and termed it as a "must read for those who seek to travel in two boats at the same time". In addition to one on a famous actress who Saif is currently dating, there are chapters dedicated to each one of his flings in this 55 page book. Sources close to the actor (close enough to have seen his Tattoos) told this blogger that the actor has been quite frank in the book. While referring to the recent incident of straying by Tig…

Indian politicians anguished by Tiger’s behavior

“We condemn this transgression and travesty of established social rules perpetrated by Shri Tiger Woods in the strongest possible terms. The political and moral community in India based in parliament and operating with the strongest sense of fairness and justice is indeed hurt and anguished by the behavior of Shri Woods,” said Chavvani Lal, Minister for Extra Marital Affairs, Government of India in a written reply to a question raised by a ‘concerned member' on the recent la affaire de Woods being played out in the global media.

Cutting across party lines during zero hour, members of parliament, condemned Tiger Woods for his unilateral act and urged US government to take stringent action against the top golfer. “We should make an example out of this guy,” said one MP. “Why doesn’t someone throw a shoe at him,” said another. Some members asked the Indian government to come out with a whitepaper on extra marital affairs of celebs and take steps to discourage them from straying from …

Amar Singh to represent India at the World Parliamentary Wrestling meet

India has decided to field its most aggressive and devil lookalike Amar Singh for the World Parliamentary Wrestling Federation bouts slated to start in Jan 2010.

The Parliamentary Wrestling Federation is an annual contest staring indisciplined parliamentarians from around the world.The annoited candidate wrestles with simmiliar parliamentarians sent by various governments and winner is declared as a scumbag and sent on a manned mission to Mars.

"Yes, after watching many videos of previous parliamentary sessions, we zeroed in on one guy who was thrashing every oponment and behaving as if someone had slipped in a a deadly cocktail of Red ants, jelly fish and black widow spider in his langot. The choice was unianimous and we have already booked tickets for him," parliamentary affairs minister Chavani Lal told this blogger over a game of chess on Monday.

Funny images for the week gone by

Desperate chinese intruders try a new intrusion route - underground

From the NGC's hit series Jailed Abroad...

Terror investigators at work in Pakistan

"I want to buy the real one" said the kid from China. "He is no longer for sale dear, the our government has already purchased him..." his mom said.

Chinese army folks saying bye to a team that will intrude into enemy territory

A Jet Airways plane after another real time "stress test"