New taxes and cost cutting measures - the unKle way
The Indian government it seems is on a cost cutting mode. Our in house Dharwad-educated economist Swamy-Nuttan Uncleshwar I-err has come up with a few gems to help the cause.
• Reuse shells flung by Pakistan in border areas and sell them back to that country through Iran
• Deploy Mayawathi statues created recently by her on the Indo-Pak border to scare away Paki troops
• Use Emran Hashmi as the brand ambassador for all family planning programs (to show what goes wrong when folks don’t do family planning)
• Use asbestos in future Chandrayan missions
• Impose a dumping tax on china everytime their citizens intrude or defect to India (we don’t want Chinese people or goods in India)
• Impose a “loud mouth” tax on Chinese. This should be collected every time a Chinese official makes a statement on Indian territory
• Impose a looser tax on the Indian cricket team (this has to be paid every time they lose a game)
• Ask the Dalai Lama to pay rent and hospitality charges for his stay in India
• Impose a “dress code tax” on companies that force employees to adhere to a jurassic dress code
• Impose a wardrobe malfunction tax @ 45 percent of total earnings on celebs who claim to have accidently displayed their langots
• Impose a moron tax on all the so called “defense experts” who shoot their mouths off on various news channels whenever a terror attack happens on Indian soil
• Impose a “dye tax” on Rajdeep Sardesai
• A boring question tax to be imposed on Bharkha Dutt
• Poke tax on Arnab Ghostswami, to be levied every time he pokes his pen at the audience
• Pause tax on Pranoy Roy; to be collected every time the grandpa takes a pause while reading news
• Comprehension tax on Prabhu Chawla to be collected every time he speaks in incomprehensible language
• Argument tax on Karan Thapar; to be collected every time the “argumentative Indian” gets into an argument with his talk show guests
• Moron Coverage tax on channels that give coverage to Rakhi Sawant
• Jinnah tax on all BJP workers who use the name of the late divisive minded British spy for various reasons
• Tax on all corporates (ala Ambani brothers and Goyal) who seek government help to clean their own mess
• Reuse shells flung by Pakistan in border areas and sell them back to that country through Iran
• Deploy Mayawathi statues created recently by her on the Indo-Pak border to scare away Paki troops
• Use Emran Hashmi as the brand ambassador for all family planning programs (to show what goes wrong when folks don’t do family planning)
• Use asbestos in future Chandrayan missions
• Impose a dumping tax on china everytime their citizens intrude or defect to India (we don’t want Chinese people or goods in India)
• Impose a “loud mouth” tax on Chinese. This should be collected every time a Chinese official makes a statement on Indian territory
• Impose a looser tax on the Indian cricket team (this has to be paid every time they lose a game)
• Ask the Dalai Lama to pay rent and hospitality charges for his stay in India
• Impose a “dress code tax” on companies that force employees to adhere to a jurassic dress code
• Impose a wardrobe malfunction tax @ 45 percent of total earnings on celebs who claim to have accidently displayed their langots
• Impose a moron tax on all the so called “defense experts” who shoot their mouths off on various news channels whenever a terror attack happens on Indian soil
• Impose a “dye tax” on Rajdeep Sardesai
• A boring question tax to be imposed on Bharkha Dutt
• Poke tax on Arnab Ghostswami, to be levied every time he pokes his pen at the audience
• Pause tax on Pranoy Roy; to be collected every time the grandpa takes a pause while reading news
• Comprehension tax on Prabhu Chawla to be collected every time he speaks in incomprehensible language
• Argument tax on Karan Thapar; to be collected every time the “argumentative Indian” gets into an argument with his talk show guests
• Moron Coverage tax on channels that give coverage to Rakhi Sawant
• Jinnah tax on all BJP workers who use the name of the late divisive minded British spy for various reasons
• Tax on all corporates (ala Ambani brothers and Goyal) who seek government help to clean their own mess
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