Pakistan offers massive discount on terrorism

With a view to increasing the export of terrorism from its soil, Pakistan has announced a massive offseason discount for entities that wish to import terrorists. An announcement to this affect was made by Pakistan’s Inter Services Intelligence chief Ahmad Shuja Pasha in Lahore on Friday.

Pakistan, according to sources, has prepared and trained nearly 5000 terrorists who are currently on the bench in various parts of the country. That Pakistan is finding it difficult to feed, clothe and hide these terrorists is no news to terrorism experts. But what has indeed come as a surprise to many is that instead of disbanding these groups, Pakistan is planning to offer their services to various state and non state entities on a pay-per-use basis.


“These terrorists have been trained using the world’s best terror infrastructure and these guys are the best that we have. We don’t want them to sit idle and waste their skills and time playing video games, chatting or following the dress code formulated by the Taliban,” Pasha said.

He claimed that due to the ongoing recession, the demand for trained terrorists has fallen by a whopping 73.56 percent over the last 13 months.In addition, Al Qaeeda, the prime source of placement for many of these terrorists has not made any offers to the ISI this year for hiring terrorists. ISI has also not been able to muster enough resources to push some of them into India as the Pakistan army was busy convincing US to part with more money for its staged war on terror. Further due to the threat of swine flu, some of the terrorists have refused to travel making the situation more complicated for ISI.

Discounts will be offered on a range of services. ISI has offered to rebrand some of its groups and export them to entities that wish to use them in addition to promising a transfer of knowhow so that such terrorists can be raised onsite.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Lol!!! Terrorists on Bench waiting for an order from their IT* - PM ( India region)

IT - int terrorism

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