China wants the moon

China's official Xinhua News Agency ran a story recently, announcing ground controllers were tracking Chinese astronauts sent aloft for the country's first spacewalk, complete with details and quotes from the astronauts. There was just one problem: the astronauts were yet to blast off for the spacewalk. Rajcreep caught up with Gen. Lee, media incharge for the government of China and questioned him on the goof up.

RS: Gen, can you explain the incident?

GL: whats to explain? Its all due to some sleepy journos in Xinhua. Those jokers pressed the go live button before the event. They have all been deported to the Sujiatun slave labor camp in Liaoning. They will learn to hold their horses there.

RS: So is this the way in which you guys work? Cook up everything before and then deliver?

GL: yeah so you have a problem with that? See everything about our nation is cooked up be it the GDP growth figures or the employment numbers. In fact, our politbureau members have a saying – you can trust a weatherman, but never trust a Chinese commie official doling out feel good statistics.

RS: Why is china so critical of India’s moon mission?

GL: The moon is a disputed territory and was a part of ancient china and we want to reclaim our territory and we won’t allow any other nation to intrude in our affairs.

RS: And where is the evidence for such claims?

GL: Which world are you from? Haven’t you heard about fairy Chang E, a wood cutter named Wu Gang and a jade rabbit that live on the moon? These folks have been living there since ages and are Chinese citizens. Me and rest of the PLA top brass keep seeing the rabbit every now and then. We also bake moon cakes during the moon festival held on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. What more do you need?

RS: So how is your moon mission coming and what are the objectives behind China exploring the moon?

GL: Be it moon or mars, our objective is just one establish a slave colony to exploit the resources there. Once we successfully land a dude on the moon and mars, we will be sending missions on a yearly basis.

RS: Yearly? Why?

GL: As I said before we will exploit resources there and these colonies will be manned by political prisoners and we will be controlling them from Earth. They will have to mine a specified quantity of minerals daily else, we will lift them and put them on a course to Venus. These minerals will then be transported back to earth in spacecrafts that will also bring new prisoners to the moon.

Comments

Prabhav said…
this was really gud.. u mixed 2 things(moon mission and arunachal) very well..
hey u must b knowing this, Chinese idiots had declared chandrayaan a failure on 5/6th this month without even consulting us..! how low can these guys get..? sick.!
Prayukth said…
yeah dude...but we have given it right back to them :)
Apple said…
hehe..i likethe fairy and woodcutter story..those dumb things...

you can trust a weatherman, but never trust a Chinese commie official doling out feel good statistics..That is quite a statement knowing just how much we trust r dear weatherman himself..
Prayukth said…
Yeah Appy..these commies think that they own the world...let them liberate their own people before they start thinking about anythin else :)

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